The Raging Quiet
by Shyrgasse
Summary: Mathias is the village outcast where the community is certain he is possessed by the devil. Lukas is a spoiled kid from Oslo coming to live in a remote, religious, village in hopes of creating a new future for himself. When he realizes the truth about Mathias being deaf he tries to teach him to speak while struggling to not fall in love.
1. A New Beginning

**Author Notes: For this fanfic I decided that I am going to use the mainstream names Lukas and Emil, for Norway and Iceland. I don't care for these names but I am trying it out for this fanfic to see if I like it or not. If I do, I may just keep using them. Furthermore, this is a historical AU taking place somewhere north of Trondheim, Norway in the 1400s. Berwald (Sweden) is the pastor of the village who is trying to protect Mathias (Denmark) from the villagers. As I am sure most of you know, people were not very tolerant back then. This is going to lead to many conflicts in this fanfic, including homosexual love. I will also be writing in third person; however some chapters may have the story told through Mathias, Lukas, and even Berwald from time to time. For now, I will keep this fanfic rated T, though it will change in the future. Don't worry, I will give a heads up, and always write a warning at the beginning of each chapter for those who do not like sexual themes.**

**Anyways, I hope you all enjoy. Please review and help boost my will to write!**

**8/8/2013 Chapter revised and beta'dby Shiralala. Thank you so much!**

The wagon was being pulled by two, large Nordic horses that jostled Lukas awake as the wheel dug deeply into a rut. Groggily he opened his eyes and saw the early sun coming up over the rocky hills, revealing the barren land all around him. Wiping his face, he felt a thin layer of drool covering half of his chin as he tried to shake the sleepiness out of his eyes. For a whole week he had traveled the coastline of Norway, heading to a small shack that he had recently inherited from his newly deceased wife. If you wanted to call her that; they had only been married two weeks before a freak accident took her from him. Regardless of the duration of their marriage, Lukas inherited her small land beside the coast, somewhere north of Trondheim.

As bad as it sounded, Lukas was relieved for the freedom he now had and the land he now owned. The cruel reality was that Lukas was the middle brother of a poor family, which would not and could not provide land and occupation for all of their sons. It seemed for several months that Lukas would be sent to the church because of how rare it was for the second brother to inherit anything. But the older woman he had married had taken a liking to him one evening and gave him her small shack by the sea as a dowry. With her death Lukas was a tad richer and no longer heading to the church to become a monk.

Shaking these thoughts away he asked the driver, "How much farther?"

The smelly and ragged old man answered in a deep burly voice, "Just about two more hours, my princeling." Lukas grimaced at the nickname; it was both ironic and inappropriate. He had come from a poor family that ran a tavern. His hardworking father had to pay the dowries for his many sisters, leaving them in poverty. But his older brother was treated like a prince; at least, compared to the rest of the family.

Knowing he had a few more hours, Lukas rummaged through his basket and located the only book he had managed to bring. It wasn't that he particularly liked the book, he just bought it because he never finished it.

Being stuck on a long journey up north seemed like the perfect opportunity to finish it. So slipping back into its pages, Lukas read for the rest of the way until he heard the sounds of people. At first he only saw poor peasants walking the muddied roads, herding their livestock out of the way of the oncoming wagon.

By this time Lukas could smell the sea and felt a rush of uncertainty. In all of his nineteen years, Lukas had never really left his mother's skirts. He worked day and night in the tavern, never venturing out. Any spare time he had was spent reading book after book. All of his seclusion and reading had made him into an introvert. Now he was on his own and it was almost official. After sailing north to Trondheim, the driver became the last connection to his family, a sort of farewell gift. His father had bought the man to help his middle son make the journey northwards, where he had a chance to succeed.

Or fail.

Once the village came into view, Lukas placed his book down and looked around at the poor houses that encircled a grand, stone church with beautiful stained glass. The wagon halted and the driver hopped down before dragging Lukas' trunk into the mud.

"Hey!" Lukas shouted angrily.

The filthy man smiled broadly, revealing many blackened teeth. "Your father only paid me to take you to this village, not all the way up to your cottage, _boy_," he growled. Before Lukas could get a word out, the driver climbed back in the wagon and urged on his horses, leaving Lukas dirty and marooned. An old woman on an ancient porch laughed shrilly at Lukas, as he stumbled through the ankle-deep mud. Lukas grimaced as he tried in vain to protect his fine traveling clothes.

"Does the lord expect the common man to bend over backwards and carry him through the muck?" The old woman cooed, starting a chain of mirth to the surrounding citizens that caused Lukas' ears to flush red, though he managed to keep his face expressionless. Steadily, he gave them all a cool look before picking one side of his heavy chest and dragging it through the mud. Because of the way everyone's colorless clothing clung to these people's bodies, this village was truly a poor one. Lukas grew up in Oslo, and even though he was considered poor there, at least his clothes fit properly and had some color to it.

After slipping and sliding through the gunky muck, Lukas managed to haul his trunk up onto a shop's porch. Looking down at himself, he saw that he had mud up to his ankles. Lukas sorely regretted coming to this village.

Before Lukas could inquire someone to help carry his trunk the rest of the way, a young boy came running down the street. "Oi, everybody! Old man Olaf's got Mathias on the whipping post!" Everyone, even the old grumbling people, leapt to their feet and started off in the direction that the boy had come. They began to chatter in a solemn but yet in an excited mood. Curious as to what this could possibly mean, Lukas followed the crowd dragging his heavy trunk behind him.

It didn't take long for Lukas to figure out what exactly was going on, a man's high pitched scream pierced into Lukas' ears causing his heart to drop into his stomach. Living in Oslo, Lukas had become accustomed to seeing hangings and public humiliations. But when the whip came back down and another helpless, pleading cry rang out, and Lukas couldn't stop the chills down his neck. And that sound, that scream! It sounded like an animal being tortured. When he wasn't screaming, the man, Mathias, babbled utter nonsense. Somehow ignoring the heart-wrenching cries, the townspeople cheered mercilessly, and even began to egg on the burly man with a whip. "Hit him harder, Olaf! It'll knock some sense into that demon!"

"The devil is in him, Olaf! Don't listen to his screams!" a woman with a babe at her breast berated hotly.

Olaf complied willingly and struck down with the whip a few more times, and Mathias, whom Lukas could not see fully, let out a pain-filled screech. But before the whip came down again, the church doors swung open and a very tall man emerged. The entire crowd went silent as the pastor of the church stepped off his porch, his black robes billowing behind him. He had such a powerful, intimidating stare that when his piercing eyes met those of any person in the crowd, they were unable to meet his gaze, instead looking at the ground.

"Wha' in the name of the Lord are ya doin' with that whip, Olaf?" The addressed man cowered like a naughty child from the pastor's stern voice. Lukas could hear the victimized man moan and babble before shrieking and struggling with his restraints. Several villagers gasped and stepped back in fear. The frightening sounds unnerved even Lukas, but the clergy man didn't even bat an eyelash. He remained where he was, a stony look on his face. "I ask once again, Olaf. What ya doin' with that whip?"

"I'm sorry, Pastor Oxenstierna, but I found him making sounds at m'livestock and I just couldn't-"

"Whatever the previous Pastor taught ya, I wish ya all ta f'rget." The pastor said harshly. "Ya can't go around and whippin' the insane."

"But the devil-" Olaf protested.

" 'Nough! Untie him and hope that Mathias don' take off yer skin." Olaf didn't move and his audience all shrank further, back not wanting any part of releasing Mathias.

"I will not." Olaf spat on the ground before turning his back and walking away. His insolence made the crowd gasp slightly and Lukas could see the defined muscles of Oxenstierna's jaw jut out as he ground his teeth together in frustration.

With quick strides, the pastor approached the straining Mathias and quickly undid the knots. Mathias lashed out at Oxenstierna, using his filthy nails and hands to scratch and punch the clergy man before slipping fully from his bonds and running into the parting sea of people. All Lukas saw was the wild man's bloody back before Mathias hopped over a stone wall and disappearing from view. When he looked back the crowd was dispersing, and the pastor was already heading back towards the church.

"Wait!" Lukas called out to the man as he yanked his heavy trunk through the mud. The tall man turned towards Lukas, his icy gaze locking with his. Lukas paused, looking at the scratched and bruised face. "I'm Lukas Sandvik. I inherited some property north of here."

"Ya mean Sjohus?"

Lukas paused, not sure what to say before responding, "Yes I believe so. It was held by my late wife's family. Her maiden name was Hagen."

"Ya, that sounds 'bout righ'." The pastor grumbled before holding out a hand, "My name is Berwald Oxenstierna, Pastor of the village."

Lukas shook his hand firmly before adding, "Perhaps you know someone that can take me out to Sjohus. I don't know the way and," he motioned to his trunk, "it won't be exactly easy to walk there."

Berwald nodded curtly before opening the large iron door, "Let me wash m'face first and I'll take ya there m'self."

"That's fine," Lukas said before sitting down on his chest.

People had resumed their normal routine, quickly moving on and forgetting about the whipped man. Lukas didn't hide his disgust as he watched them. Back in Oslo he had seen many cruel things, and since he was a boy, Lukas remembered having a weak stomach for the violence. He even once defied his father and gave a cup of water to a man locked in the stocks. At home Lukas received a beating when his younger brother accidentally revealed what he had done.

Lukas remembered his father's words after he was done beating him, "How someone cold like yourself can give a criminal sympathy is beyond me."

The man thought his second son to be heartless because he seemed detached. But to Lukas, people like his father and these villagers were the true heartless ones.

"Ya ready?" Berwald asked gruffly, interrupting Lukas' train of thought. Lukas simply nodded and followed the clergy out into the back of the church, where they bridled a horse to a cart and tossed Lukas' large trunk into the back.

With a lurch, the cart started down the muddy, rutted road. Lukas looked around him, people-watching like he had before. Most houses were small and the families sat outside in rags. The whole place looked like a giant mud pit, but as they rolled out of the village, it gave way to green fields with long blowing grass from the sea. The waves could be heard and Lukas spotted the rushing water below when they climbed to the top of a hill outside of the village. Lukas spotted a few ships out at sea fishing, and saw more docked at a nearby harbor. Most trails lead back up from the docks to the village and were created by sand in the grass.

"I don' know if there'll be anythin' left at yer property," Berwald spoke suddenly. "I pass it fr'm time to time, but it's only when 'm lookin' for Mathias."

Lukas nodded slightly, "I know, my late wife told me it wasn't much, and that she hadn't been there since she was a girl. She couldn't guarantee me anything. But what do you mean by 'looking for Mathias'? Should I be worried?"

Berwald frowned deeply before saying sternly, "Ya should look out for 'em. He's… not trustworthy. The villagers are correct f'r fearin' him. He's a savage and c'n turn on ya quickly. But… it's not his fault. He's nice when he's not scared and if the villagers didn' abuse em, Mathias would j'st be a friendly village idiot."

"I guess I can see your reasoning. If I was beaten I wouldn't be too trusting, either. I'd try to stab people in the back to get ahead." Lukas replied smoothly, unashamed at speaking the truth.

"Glad we have an understandin'." Berwald said before grunting, "You sound like an educated man."

"I can read."

"A rare trait." Berwald commented before they went silent for a moment, and Lukas found himself gazing down at the crashing water on the rocks. The pastor cut the silence once again as their wagon lurched forward as they began to descend down the sloping hill, "How did ya meet the late owner? Oslo is a long ways away from us."

Lukas kept his eyes on the shore below as he answered honestly. "She liked to drink at my father's tavern. She couldn't read and always ordered one of us to read to her. I was her favorite. When she heard I was going to be sent to the church, she suggested that we marry. There was no romance and she was about fifteen years older than me. It was a matter of convenience and… pity. We were married and she was struck down by a horse a few weeks later." Berwald's stoic face twisted into a grimace, Lukas knew that the truth of how he got this place wasn't the best. He had never been in love, and his mother's own advice was never to marry for such a cause. It was reckless.

"I plan on fixing the place up." Lukas added. "I remember her saying that we have a boat and several buildings."

The pastor nodded and he added, "Ya certainly have that. Look, up head that is yer place."

Lukas wasn't too surprised on what he saw. The main house was still intact, for its walls were made of stone, but the ceiling sagged in and its thatching was rotted. Everything that was wooden had collapsed. All of the fencing around the fields were leaning awkwardly, and Lukas couldn't see any proper irrigation system. He could already sense the amount of work he that was needed. Thank God that along with the property, he had also inherited some gold, which would help him repair things. But everything was in bad shape, and both the old cowshed and grain shed had long since collapsed under the elements. Lukas could also see a wooden structure that seemed to lead down the cliff face to the surf below, which was probably unsafe and shaky.

The wagon rolled to a stop and both men hopped down, then walked around to drag Lukas' trunk off the bed. "I suppose I'll be seein' ya this Sunday?" Berwald asked as they hauled the trunk towards the pitiful little house.

"Perhaps. I want to get this place up and running as soon as possible." Lukas confessed, having briefly forgotten _who _he was talking to.

Berwald grunted before stating sternly, "Word of advice. Come ta church every Sunday." Lukas felt that he was unable to look the pastor in the eye. He felt embarrassed from his slip-up and he felt like he was a child again, getting reprimanded. "It's not because God wills it," Berwald said, quietly. "It's because the villagers would notice it." Lukas quickly caught his meaning. He had, after all seen them whip a village idiot.

"I will see you on Sunday, then." Lukas said slowly, showing that he understood Berwald perfectly.

"Well then, good luck on yer farm. Nice ta meet ya." Berwald climbed back on his wagon, leaving Lukas along on his property.

Lukas felt suddenly cold as he realized that he was finally, _truly_ alone. He had never been alone before. He'd always had a sibling around, a mother calling him to do things, and on the way up, he'd at least had the unpleasant driver for company. Now there wasn't anyone, and the silence of his own property made Lukas feel odd somehow. He wasn't a social person, but it didn't stop him from feeling a deep sadness and uneasiness as he entered his house the first time.

As he came in, Lukas let out long sigh. The floor was comprised of packed dirt, and it seemed as if someone had been living there. They had left fish bones, sea shells, and other food remains all over his floor. There was also a makeshift bed next to the fire place made out of grass and leaves. The only stairs that led up to the sleeping loft were warped and ruined, and Lukas knew if he tried to climb them, he would end up with a twisted ankle or worse. A bit annoyed, all he could do was lug in his chests that held all of his belongings, unpack his blanket, and then eat some cheese, sausage, and bread he had brought from home.

After his meager meal, Lukas crawled onto the grassy bed and covered himself up with a jacket. His mind was racing with a thousand thoughts; he couldn't quite get over Mathias' screams, the leering of the villages, and the damp coldness of his new home. He laid there for several hours until his travel-worn body finally gave in and he fell into a feverish and uneasy sleep. When he woke the next morning, he felt even more exhausted and cold.

Outside it had begun to rain. The dirt floor provided no protection against the water, which had seeped in. It gave his house an even icy feel, and even though Lukas was still dry he was chilled to the bone. For a few hours he laid in his bed, not wanting to get up and work on his property. Lukas knew he was acting too spoiled for his situation. He no longer could afford to lie around lazily and eat his mother's cooking. Lukas would have to create his own fortune or starve. But it had been a long journey, so he figured skipping work on one rainy day was okay.

Lukas was almost warm and back to sleep when the door was suddenly opened, smacking against the wall. With a jolt, Lukas started awake, opening his eyes to see a figure standing at the door in soaked rags. Dread filled his heart when he saw Mathias looking at him, equally wide-eyed and scared.


	2. Loneliness and Fishing

**I would like to thank Sascake for the beta and giving me an opinion on this chapter. Also thanks go to the reviews and the views I got for this fic. I am really excited at the responses I received. Also the beginning of this fic is in Mathias POV and starts before he is whipped. But Lukas' view starts up in the middle. Because Mathias cannot talk yet there isn't much dialogue but I have kept this as descriptive and entertaining as I could muster. I've rewritten and edited this so many times it is insane. **

**And just to reply to my anon reviewers, thank you anon guest for the really nice review and thank you angelkat I am glad you read the book I got this idea from. Sadly it will not be a complete adaption and you will start to see why soon. However if you liked that book I am sure you will like this fic. (Or at least I hope.)**

* * *

The air hummed to Mathias. Every motion the sheep made conveyed to him vibrations that he could feel on his palms and bare feet. The sheep were wandering away from the village as they ate their way down to the sea. On many occasions Mathias had seen their owner come out of the village, his body moving angrily as his hands chopped through the air like blades, his face always contorted and his mouth opened wide in a flapping movement. The gentle sheep would then panic and flee back to where they belonged. Mathias didn't blame them: the owner of the sheep scared him too. Breathing deeply, Mathias let out a rush of wind from his lips that made his throat tickle. A sheep that was the nearest to him looked up curiously. Only when he made the ticklish feeling in his throat did Mathias get a reaction from anyone.

It was a strange action, and it was uncomfortable. Mathias felt as if he resembled the fish he caught out of water, moving its mouth haphazardly.

But these sheep shouldn't be moving down to the sea. The owner of the sheep would be angry with them once more. Mathias had many bad experiences from that man- just the sight of him and Mathias would flee in the hopes he wouldn't be beaten. He didn't want this to happen to these gentle animals, so Mathias sprinted out in front of them making his arms move like blades. He could feel his limbs creating a wind and he felt powerful creating such motions. A few sheep scurried away, moving back towards the village. Many stubborn ones remained, looking at him as if they were dumb. Didn't they understand that if they didn't return they would be beaten? He chuckled and smiled widely at their silliness.

A sheep stretched out its head to the sky and opened its mouth. Mathias mimicked, looking up at the blue sky before moving his mouth soundlessly. He felt stupid but he could feel the vibrations in the air. The sheep was doing that weird action with its throat. Taking a deep breath, Mathias strained as he let the air rush out. The ground trembled as the sheep scurried away. Happy at his progress, Mathias followed them cheerfully. They were moving the right direction and would be safe from the mean man of the sheep. Mathias let out more breaths, making his throat strain as he followed the herd back towards the village.

Following on their heels, Mathias let out pleasant vibrations through his nose. Knowing that these gentle creatures were returning to where they were supposed to be overjoyed Mathias. He couldn't stop himself from leaping and somersaulting in the grass. As they reached the city limits, the heard of sheep halted and Mathias climbed up on to a fence to watch and he made small little vibrations in his throat whenever one tried to stray too far. Suddenly, Mathias felt someone yank the back of his shirt.

For only a split second did Mathias have enough time to see the owner of the sheep bearing down at him with a scowl. The next moment, Mathias felt splitting pain in the back of his head as the man struck him. Frightened and alarmed, Mathias tried to explain what he had been doing by moving his mouth and letting his throat vibrate just like he saw every other villager do. This seemed to only anger the owner and he struck Mathias once more, completely stunning him. Sluggishly Mathias tried to touch his temple and ear where he felt something warm trickling down his face. His hand was wrenched away from his face and he felt rough ropes digging into his flesh as the sheep herder bound his wrists.

At this point, Mathias felt adrenaline take root and he began to struggle to try and get away, but his head was light and his knees were weak from the previous blow. Mathias knew what was coming, especially when he was dragged to the pole. Pulling with all of his weight, Mathias found himself opening his mouth and letting the loudest vibrations he could muster. Why didn't they understand? He didn't want this!

The owner of the sheep merely smacked him hard again and Mathias found himself struggling to stay up right. Another villager appeared, and Mathias found himself being over powered and tied to the pole. This was going to happen, even with Mathias begging, and he knew it even as he looked desperately for someone to let him go. Fear trickled down his spine as his body prepared itself for the blows to come.

When he felt the first strike on his back, Mathias gripped the ropes tightly. He let out moans as the whip slashed his skin. Each air splitting motion caused Mathias arch his back in pain. So many times he had been dragged through this hell. He didn't understand why- Mathias knew that he should stay away from these people but he had nowhere to go. They were evil and wanted to abuse him and the constant abuse had taught Mathias there were worse things to worry about than a whipping. His chest gave shaky breaths as he looked desperately at the now gathering crowd. Their mouths pulled back angrily as they motioned frighteningly at him. Some of the villagers were even smiling as they took joy in his pain. With all his might Mathias let out a rush of air that startled them, but also made the whip come down faster.

Wrought in pain and confusion, Mathias could only be glad of the fact there was no fire. These wretched villagers in the past had brought heat irons and press them to his skin. As much pain Mathias was in now, at least it wasn't his skin being branded. He smelt no smoke and found himself holding onto that one small hope as he closed his eyes and decided to endure.

Mathias vaguely felt the air shutter as the people around him murmured and gathered. At this point his senses had dulled to the point he could only feel the whip tearing his skin and hot blood cooling on his skin. Opening his eyes Mathias saw that everyone was looking towards the church. Bending his head back as far as he could Mathias struggled to see the robed man in the corner of his vision. A cold sweat hit Mathias as he saw the billowing of the robes coming closer. There was only one thing more terrifying than fire, and those were the men in robes.

The previous robbed man had beaten Mathias with the mean villagers, and had branded his skin several times. Just the sight of the cross and robes were enough to make Mathias tremble and pull desperately at his ropes in a last ditch effort to get away. This robed man didn't lead the villagers like the previous one, but Mathias still didn't trust him. This robed man still suddenly hit him. However, whenever the villagers would whip him his presence was enough for Mathias to be freed. But the power to get these villagers to do whatever a robed man wanted was enough for Mathias to panic.

The owner of the sheep backed away and Mathias pulled harder on his ropes, eager to get away. It could start up again, he just knew it. When the man approached and loosened his binds Mathias lashed out his arms and frantically pushed the robed man away. He would not be beaten. Mathias would flee to his safe place. Flee, he must flee.

Feeling the binds gone and with the robed man busy covering his face, Mathias leapt away from the pole and bolted through the opening in the crowd. Once he was over the stone wall and back out in the green fields Mathias began to feel safer. But he kept running giving him distance from the villagers. In his mind he was swift as a rabbit and he was flying over the blades of grass like a bird. He didn't stop until he saw the sea. Gasping for air Mathias stood there, feeling his back stinging and his heart beating deep within him.

Anguish hit him hard and Mathias felt his throat constrict and he let out his frustrations through his throat. Why had they done it? Mathias didn't understand it. He just wanted to help the sheep. Picking up rocks he tossed them over the cliffs in frustration. Rock after rock was tossed until Mathias stood there out of breath. Trembling, he clutched his hands in fists as another feeling struck him hard. Loneliness.

Mathias knew he couldn't sit there and mope, so he continued on until he felt hungry. On the way he stopped by the only farm before his destination. The people were in the fields and Mathias could tell by placing his palms on the walls of the house that no one was home. There were no vibrations. He stepped inside with little caution and stole some food before fleeing once more. He only took what they wouldn't notice. Taking big things would only bring attention on himself, so he fled with only two raw eggs and a raw potato.

Rain started to poor down on him after an hour of walking and the dark clouds took away the remaining sunlight. Sighing, Mathias knew he would be sleeping out in the open that night. He knew the land well, thanks to having to hide often from the villagers. Walking along a hill, Mathias found a dugout that gave him some shelter from the rain and wind. Uncomfortable, Mathias tried to get some sleep, but most of the night he shivered as the rain soaked him and his body became feverish from his injuries. Waking up soaked and in pain made moving difficult the next morning. His whole back burned with every little movement, but he just wanted a proper place to hide as he nursed his wounds. If he didn't Mathias knew he would become sick.

With effort, Mathias followed the fields until he was finally home. Relief rushed over him as he wobbled to the shack, but he paused. There were wagon ruts in the ground and the aroma of smoke was thick. The chimney didn't have smoke, but it was clear to Mathias someone had recently built a fire. Not to mention there was now a pile of wood sitting beside the house, protected by the overhang of the thatched roof.

Dread picked at Mathias heart as he approached. Walking up to the door, he swung it open. His eyes opened wide when he saw a stranger startle awake with shock. This wasn't someone he knew and this made Mathias even more nervous. He didn't know how this person would act but this was his house, his place and Mathias tried to babble and convey his thoughts. Nervously it dawned on him that there could be others nearby. He wanted this person out and he swung his arms about him as he frustratingly tried to get the man to leave. The man quickly got to his feet startling Mathias. His face was now calm, too calm and confident about himself. There were signs of fear and uncertainty in the man's posture but that calmness made Mathias back away. If he was truly alone then he wouldn't be so sure of himself.

The stranger took a step forward and Mathias backed up, back into the rain.

Xxx

The chopping hand motions and guttural sounds coming from Mathias set Lukas instantly on edge. His heart began to beat wildly and Lukas said in a hiss, "What do you want?" He could remember Berwald telling him to be wary of Mathias. But the insane man looked nervous, despite his ranting and raving. The sounds were disturbing- Lukas had never heard anything like it. If Berwald had returned to his house to tell him Mathias was possessed by Satan, Lukas would have believed it, but he knew that he needed to be rational. There men like Mathias in Oslo that made weird sounds and couldn't speak one word of Norwegian. They were often given charity from the church or the rich, yet most died on the streets.

He noticed that Mathias' skin had a blue hue to it as he stood there in the rain, wide eyed and scared. Frowning, Lukas could see the dark patching of blood on his clothing and the Norwegian decided that he needed to be a charitable person and allow him in. "Won't… you come in." Lukas said, unsure, as Mathias simply stared up at him dumbly.

A strong gale whipped rain into Lukas' face and he could feel under his feet that his dirt floor was converting into mud. Sighing with frustration, Lukas knew he needed to get this retard in his house soon or he would be sleeping in mud that night. "Come in!" Lukas said loudly as he motioned with his arms impatiently.

Mathias bolted as if he had been bitten, rounding the corner of the house and out of Lukas' sight. Barefoot, Lukas followed him out into the rain, watching the man slip into the ruins of his barn. It would be a crude shelter, but the roof had kept its shape when it collapsed so Lukas knew Mathias would be better off there than in the rain. "What an idiot," he huffed to himself as he returned to his shack. Lukas had invited him in after all.

Lukas returned to his makeshift bed, pulling his blanket over his head as he struggled to fall back asleep. As hard as he tried, he couldn't shake his thoughts off of Mathias. It pained Lukas to know he had a conscience; things would go a whole lot better if Lukas didn't care about the welfare of others. Hell, he even acted like he didn't care. But acting never covered up the nagging guilt he felt when he wasn't doing the right thing. Even though Lukas didn't have much to give, he knew he would be a better person if he gave something to Mathias. After lying in his bed for ten minutes, Lukas got up once more and made a plate of food for Mathias, even placing his beloved pickled herring on the side.

Groaning, Lukas quickly left his house and placed the plate around the corner and in the driest place he could find. With that out of the way, Lukas stomped back into his shack and promptly went back to sleep, sleeping off the rest of the storm.

When the sun finally came out the following day, Lukas exited his house ready to go find his plate when he stepped on it on his first step out the door. Puzzled, Lukas picked up the dish and saw that it was clean. In shock, Lukas looked around the landscape to see if Mathias was around. There was more to Mathias than he was giving him credit.

* * *

Lukas missed home by the end of his second week. The quiet solitude of his new property was strange to him. After spending all of his life in a tavern, Lukas didn't understand quiet and solitude. He liked it, but the luxury of home was nowhere to be found in his new home. At least now most of his house was clean, except the top loft. The stairs had been yanked away and broken into pieces for firewood, and in its place Lukas salvaged wood from the fallen buildings to make a ladder.

His back was sore from the lack of bed or any furniture and he smelled terrible. At the end of his first week, Lukas had taken to bathing in a creek. The weather was so cold that he tried to avoid it at all costs. He longed for a hot bath and soap, but Lukas had nothing and had to eat off of his trunk each night. The most concerning fact was that every night his body sensed someone watching him. He knew it was Mathias and, due to his boredom, Lukas made it a game to try and spot him. Not once did he spot him. However, every morning when he exited his house he found bigger footprints than his own. The footprints were Mathias' for sure, because Lukas had continued to leave small amounts of food out for Mathias, and every morning he would find the plate clean and at his door.

After checking the yard, Lukas began to head to the cliffs where the wooden platforms were. Peering down, he saw the surf was high and there was a boat covered by a low roof. Excited that he may have found something of use, Lukas went down the wooden walk way careful to avoid the rotted pieces of wood. Approaching the boat he saw it was in good condition and had still most of its fishing equipment. Seeing that there was a chance to do something productive, Lukas dragged the boat out into the sea. As he began to take it into the surf Lukas saw a familiar person amongst the rocks with a stick. Mathias sat like a statue and jabbing at the water in quick precise moments. He was so far away that Lukas couldn't quite see what he was doing. But after a moment Lukas realized that he was catching fish.

Mathias looked as if he was concentrating hard but he looked up at Lukas, his blue eyes looking at him wearily. They weren't as fearful as they had been on the first night but still held a lot of mistrust. He gave Lukas a loud sound, almost as if he were saying hello, before returning to his task.

That weird sound Mathias made gave Lukas an uneasy feeling.

Mathias was quite the fisherman as he pulled up two fish in the matter of ten minutes. Lukas knew he would need all the luck in the world, for he was a terrible fisherman. He decided that the best action was to use the same fishing ground as Mathias so he rowed in a little bit closer before tossing out his net. Shakily, he waved to Mathias when the crazy man examined him once more. Everything about Mathias resembled an animal. From the way he held himself, the sounds, and to the way he looked resembled some type of beast-man.

After a few moments, Lukas began to pull in his net. Nothing. Frowning, he tossed it in again and watched Mathias for a few moments. It wasn't too long before Mathias jabbed his makeshift spear and caught yet another fish. Lukas watched him stroke its slippery scales before lightly placing it on the rock and smashing its head in. The action startled Lukas and he quickly pulled up his net. Nothing was in it, save for bits of seaweed. It appeared to him he would be looking for mussels that morning if he kept up this bad luck.

"You wouldn't mind giving me some of that fish would you?" Lukas shouted to shore in frustration. Mathias didn't answer back, he just kept his head bent as he looked for more fish.

After an hour of no luck, Lukas decided to row in. Mathias had left earlier, having probably fished the whole area dry. Disheartened at his failure, Lukas had no choice but to scavenge for mussels. He found a few attached to rock and pried them free; they wouldn't make much of a meal but his stomach grumbled for the protein.

Climbing back up the stairs to his shack, Lukas spotted something at the base of his door. Peering down at it, he saw five gutted fish waiting for him on a crude piece of cloth. Confused and bewildered, it took him a few minutes to digest that these were from Mathias. Did the crazed man leave them on purpose for him? Or did he merely drop them there? From the way that they laid in a neat row Lukas knew it had to be deliberate. He looked out amongst his yard for Mathias, but he saw that he had vanished. Grateful for the gift, Lukas entered his house still exhausted but happy for a warm meal.

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**God I just caught myself days later that I submitted the text that had Norway as still Niels! Sorry guys!**


	3. A Revalation

**Thank you for the reviews and all the faves and follows I got last chapter. I just want to say sorry for the mess up in Chapter 2. I caught myself using Niels and changed it back to Lukas. In fact... I had uploaded the wrong document twice. So if I do it in the future, please let me know. **

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Lukas felt exhausted. His feet ached and his arms were already tired from carrying two bulky, wooden boxes. Today was Sunday and he was making his weekly visit to town. Not only was Lukas going to church, but he also planned on buying a few chickens and a dozen chicks. However, even though the boxes were light Lukas still struggled after an hour of walking from their bulkiness. Straining as much as he was now, Lukas knew that his journey back would be even more miserable when he had to fight with squirming animals. And Lukas had left early so he could make it on time for church, but after resting his arms for the fifth time he knew he was going to be late. By the time he reached the village Lukas' arms were shaking from exhaustion and the back of his neck was soaked with sweat.

The village was empty and hymns could be heard from the church. Lukas was late and being disheveled with sweat made him not want to enter and join in with prayer. But knowing that the villagers wouldn't be pleased with Lukas not showing up at all made him overlook his poor hygiene. Entering, the hymn paused momentarily as he quietly took his place at a pew. Eyes were on him and Lukas tried his hardest to not bat an eyelash as he struggled with his blushing ears. Luckily Berwald gave him a stiff nod from the front of the church before starting up the song once more.

After the service was over Berwald strolled up to Lukas and grunted a hello before admitting, "I thought f'r sure yer were gonna miss service."

"Wasn't my intention. I was carrying some boxes to town. I found someone selling some chickens so I thought I should buy some while I had the chance. Least to say they were heavy." Lukas revealed as they walked out of the church together.

"Mm, I'm glad ya came. An' I believe I know who're yer talkin' about. He's a good man, but tough on prices. I'll keep ya company so he doesn' take all yer money." Berwald gave Lukas a small smirk and Lukas contently accepted. "So how's yer property goin'? Things goin' fine?"

"Yes," Lukas said curtly as he kept walking towards a meeting place with a chicken farmer. Luckily the night had been cold and froze the mud hard so Lukas didn't sink this time into the mud.

That morning he thought that he would encounter someone going to church and catch a ride in. But it became clearer that no one really lived in Lukas' direction. In fact, he was almost utterly alone. Now his hands were blistered and hurt. Fortunately under the rubble of his buildings he found a crude wagon, but unfortunately it was missing a wheel. Lukas really needed to get his wagon working and then buy a horse. However there was no sense in buying a horse until he could fence it in and he needed lumber. Everything seemed to be stacked against Lukas unless he received some help. "It's hard coming to town when you have no horse or wagon." he lamented slightly.

"Well, the good lord will reward those who w'rk hard." Berwald said simply and Lukas couldn't help but roll his eyes inwardly. He believed in god, but that little saying always made him feel uncomfortable. Luckily Berwald changed the topic back to the chickens. "So ya made room f'r them already?"

"The chickens?" Lukas asked slowly, "Oh no, not really. I figured I would just keep them in the house with me until I can build a proper shelter. I need the eggs. I've been… giving Mathias food."

Berwald halted instantly and gave Lukas a formidable frown. "He's been out there with ya?" Lukas nodded and Berwald let a rude sound through his nose. "Ya shouldn', not with ya bein' so far out on yer own."

Lukas looked at Berwald incredulously. This was coming from the same man that said Mathias could be nice when not treated poorly just a few weeks ago. It didn't make sense, this sudden coldness towards Mathias. Trying to understand it, Lukas decided it had more to do he was worried about his own welfare. After all, he also stated Mathias could be violent. "Well, I don't mind too much. Mathias has been leaving me gifts. One day he left me gutted fish at my door and two days ago he left me several handfuls of berries."

"He's leavin' ya gifts?" Berwald asked uncertain at what he was hearing.

This made Lukas fidget slightly with his boxes. He had been sure that Berwald of all the villagers would have known about this behavior. "Well… yes." Lukas answered simply.

Berwald merely let out a shaky sigh, "Still… ya can' trust him. Be careful an' always be on yer guard."

"Don't worry. I believe Mathias is more scared of me than I am of him. I will scare him off if need be." Lukas answered confidently as they approached the chicken house.

After bartering for the chickens and loading his arms up with his newly purchased and animals, Berwald walked Lukas out towards the church once more. They were mostly silent, but Berwald had intervened with the chicken seller as promised. Overall Lukas saved money and it made him feel slightly more financially secure.

Before he departed, Berwald asked genuinely, "Is there anythin' ya need? Ya live so far out m'friad I can' be much of use to ya."

"You mean… is there anything I need for my farm?" Lukas asked his eyes widen slightly at the offer.

"Ya, I can' ask around. We should be helpin' ya f'r bein' a newcomer."

Lukas was taken back by the sudden kindness and answered, "If you find someone that can help me with a wagon tire and some lumbar I would be grateful. And perhaps look out for a reliable horse for sell. Not being stuck on foot would help me immensely."

"Consider it done. Good day, Lukas. I will see you next Sunday."

"Good day." Lukas said before heading down the path to his property.

His feet began ached and after fifteen minutes of walking, Lukas sorely wished that he had asked for a ride from Berwald again. But he knew he couldn't depend on the pastor's kindness especially after making that offer. It was Sunday and there were other things he probably needed to attend to and Lukas knew the more he walked and the harder he worked the quicker he would grow used to it. But it didn't stop his hands from forming blisters nor his neck aching sharply with pain. Exhaustion was seeping into his bones and he knew once he returned home he wouldn't do anything but eat then sleep.

Halfway home, Lukas spotted Mathias crouching in the high grass. Fatigued, Lukas placed the crates down and sat on one of them. He kept his eyes on the man in hopes that he would at least be entertained as he caught his breath. Despite Berwald's warning Lukas couldn't bring himself to be frightened of Mathias. If Mathias was going to hurt him Lukas figured he would have done it by now.

Cupping his hands Lukas shouted, "Thank you for the fish." But all Mathias did was swat a fly.

When the fly buzzed towards Lukas his eyes stiffened into shock before softening slightly until eventually Mathias gave him a cheeky grin. Lukas didn't know how to react to the broad smile but slowly his own lips tugged into a small smile. But it faded slightly when Mathias began to approach, crawling on his hands and feet out of the grass. Lukas tried to remain calm as Mathias eyed him and breathed heavily. Timidly, Mathias reached out and stuck his finger into the wooden box Lukas wasn't sitting on and stroked a baby chick. It made a few panic chirps making Lukas for a moments want to shoo Mathias away. But the crazy man let out a small laugh before looking up at Lukas and laughing again. Touching the baby chicks looked as if it gave Mathias a small feeling of delight just like a child would experience.

Suddenly though, Mathias grabbed the crate and Lukas bolted straight up. Mathias looked at him nervously before babbling incoherently and pointing down the road towards home. He wasn't stealing the chicks. He was helping Lukas. Gradually his smile reappeared on Lukas' lips before he stood and picked up his own box and followed Mathias down the road towards his property. Lukas wasn't fully rested but the load was halved and it was so much better than struggling with the bulky load.

When they both reached his fletching land, Lukas inwardly sighed in relief. As much as he tried to keep his face neutral every time Mathias looked back at him, he knew his red face showed how tired and exhausted he really was. Lukas entered the house and placed his crate near his trunk before heading towards his water bucket. Taking out the ladle, Lukas drank from it multiple times. From the cold, stone house, the water remained cool and it quenching his thirst.

Wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, he saw Mathias standing near the door unsure and ready to flee. Gently and slowly, Lukas dipped the ladle back into the bucket then offering it to the man. Cautiously Mathias took the ladle from Lukas' hands and he kept his eyes on Lukas as he drank to the ladle. He was thirsty and he downed the water in a few gulps before unceremoniously dropping the ladle back into the bucket causing the water to splash. Lukas jumped at the sudden clang and Mathias backed up a few feet.

Lukas didn't want to spook off Mathias just yet so he turned his palms up and said very softly, "It's okay… you just startled me." Mathias' body loosened but remained looking at Lukas numbly and emotionless. Peering out the only window in his shack Lukas saw dark clouds were gathering and knew it would start storming again. And his stomach growled in hunger.

"Would you like some food?" he said loudly. Yet Mathias didn't react, it was eerie how Mathias would simply stare disinterested in Lukas. "Food?" he said even louder making hand signals trying to get the man to understand. Mathias didn't seem to like that for his body stiffened as did Lukas'. "Why do I even talk to you?" Lukas asked more to himself than the insane man.

Lukas didn't know if Mathias wanted to eat, all he knew was that he wanted food. So he walked over to his trunk he pulled out some bread, cheese, and a jar of sardines. Since he had arrived Lukas had to make his own bread and it wasn't as full and fluffy as tavern bread, but it was bread. Slicing off food for himself and his guest Lukas handed Mathias his own plate before returning to his own food. Which the crazy man took happily making cheerful shouting sounds as he devoured his food. He even flashed Lukas a broad smile, showing the food in his mouth.

Lukas tried to give Mathias a small smile, but he wasn't much of a smiler. The way the food showed between his teeth was disgusting and it took everything in Lukas to not show it. He kept eating and trying to not watch Mathias' awful eating habits. Mathias woofed down his food so quick he was done before Lukas even finished his bread. Gently he picked up one of his fish and handed it over to Mathias to eat. The man looked so starved and hungry that Lukas couldn't deny him food even if crumbs were gathering at Mathias feet.

Outside he could hear the wind picking up and his door began to creak back and forth on its hinges. Annoyed by the sound Lukas got up and slammed the door shut, which Mathias didn't seem to notice or care as he focused on the food in front of him. Lukas found that… odd.

The wind began to blow even harder and it made his house creak loudly. Mathias didn't react. Lukas knew that there was no rotten wood in the house and he had made sure of it when he recently re-thatched the roof. But it still was nerve wrecking to hear such an old house creak like it did. Every other house on his estate had collapsed so it could very well happen to his shack.

Pushing those thoughts aside he placed his plate on the floor. Lukas crouched and opened up the crates to let the chickens and chicks out. His house would be their home until he could properly fashion them a chicken coop. He watched them enter the hay and bed down, which Lukas didn't appreciate. That was where he slept. Taking out handfuls of hay, Lukas began to make a new bed away from the chickens and little bit closer to the fire. He didn't know if Mathias planned on sleeping in house that night. But from the way the storm was raging outside, Lukas didn't think it would be right to push the retarded man out. So without debating the question Lukas made a second bed next to the fire. Mathias reacted by crawling into the straw and cuddling with a few chicks that seemed to have already imprinted on him.

Comfortable with doing a good deed, Lukas settled down in his own bed and watched Mathias play with the chicks. Several were roosting on his side as they took in the warm heat of the nearby fire. He was gentle with his animals, and had a natural calming effect towards them that Lukas knew he would never possess. It made him sleepy just sitting there watching Mathias and he could feel his eyes closing. Lukas very exhausted from his long walk that day.

A loud boom of thunder broke and woke Lukas with a start and even the chickens were squawking nervously from the bad weather. But Mathias laid there in his bed smiling and making soft sound to the chicks, blissfully unaware to the sounds around him.

The shack was groaning and the thunder was over them crackling down in loud booms that could make anyone jump. Yet Mathias remained calm and still. Because sound didn't matter him.

The idea suddenly dawned on Lukas and he quickly sat up from his place and carefully walked over to the door. Mathias remained playing with the tiny chicks as Lukas opened the door and slammed it again and again. The chickens flapped around and scattered in fear and only then did Mathias start and become alert. He looked around and then at Lukas nervously. Lukas felt his heart begin to pound in his chest as his little experiment proved him correct. Giving Mathias a friendly smile, Lukas nestled back into his straw bed, contemplating what he should do with his new found information.

What was Lukas supposed to do with this knowledge? If he was correct then everyone was wrong about Mathias being insane. Lukas had just arrived in this village and would have zero weight with his word because the villagers didn't know nor trust him. Lukas couldn't just tell them that they were wrong and Mathias wasn't mad. Even the priest was in agreement, though Lukas believed that a learned man would be willing to change his mind if he saw the proof. But the village would remain in the same opinion without a doubt.

Mathias most likely wasn't dangerous, just scared. His kindness towards Lukas proved that. If he truly couldn't hear then all those strange noises were just noises. Like he was imitating people without really understanding what he noise he was making. All these revelations were making Lukas' head hurt.  
Groaning, Lukas knew he didn't have the time to sit there and try and help Mathias. He needed to build up his place before winter and that would take most of his time. But if he didn't try, then who would? Trying to not think any more on it, Lukas rolled over and dragged his blanket over his head to sleep.


	4. The First Signs

The next morning Lukas woke to find his house empty. Mathias had left before Lukas woke and it affected him even though Lukas had suspected as much. Foreseeing that he would wake alone again didn't stop the silence from making Lukas uncomfortably lonely. Mathias wasn't exactly company, but he did prevent Lukas from thinking about the suffocating silence that he had been experiencing since coming to his new home.

Sighing heavily, Lukas climbed out of bed and pulled on his work clothes knowing he couldn't just sit there and mope about how isolated he was. There was work to be done and he started out his day by shooing out the chickens into the yard and sweeping out his house of their droppings. As he worked, Lukas' thoughts drifted to the previous night's revelations. Mathias wasn't crazy. It was till shocking but the more Lukas pondered on the subject the more convinced he was. Mathias wouldn't have the capability of giving Lukas gifts if he were indeed insane. Or at least this was what Lukas believed.

However being deaf wasn't much better than being crazy. Whoever Mathias' mother was, she had clearly gravely sinned while Mathias was still in her belly. Lukas had heard enough sermons on that very subject back at home. His pastor had made it a tradition to preach the topic each time a new girl was caught pregnant out of wedlock. They shunned these women and their bastard offspring. Mathias' situation would not improve with the villagers if they were told the truth. Instead the villagers would know the why in the way Mathias acted.

There had to be something he could do.

Lukas stopped sweeping, frowning at these reoccurring thoughts. Just why was he trying to help Mathias again? He knew his heart was in its own way big, but to constantly think and worry about Mathias was just stupid. Boredom was making him envelope his world in the one entertaining mystery in his life. If Lukas' wife hadn't died, Lukas would have social contact and he wouldn't have invited Mathias into his house or fed him. But now, he had nothing better to do or any other contact. If he somehow helped Mathias during his selfishness then so be it. Desperately Lukas needed to feed his brain and do something other than manual work.

But, then again, what could he do?

Shaking off the thoughts, Lukas ate a slice of bread before stepping out onto the muddy property. The sun was drying the ground so quickly that everything looked like it was steaming. It would be a hot and miserable day to work. But first, Lukas looked around to see if he could spot Mathias. Scanning, he saw the place empty and his footsteps leading to the foothills. Lukas let out a disappointed huff realizing that his source of entertainment was gone. Mathias acted like a timid stray cat and Lukas guessed he would be back by the end of the week.

Disappointed, Lukas put all of his efforts in building a chicken coup. About midday Lukas looked up from his shaky coup hearing horse hooves to see Berwald riding a burly Nordic horse. "Mornin'." Berwald called to Lukas.

Puzzled about the pastor's sudden appearance, Lukas was slow to great and instead asked, "What brings you out here?"

"Like I said yesterday, we should be offerin' our help." Berwald answered as he swung off his horse. "What ya tryin' ta build there?" he inquired making Lukas knit his eyebrows.

"Isn't it obvious?" When Pastor Berwald didn't answer Lukas he continued blandly, "It's supposed to keep the chickens in."

"I see." Berwald replied as he inspected Lukas' failed construction. "I can tell yer from a tavern family."

"And what exactly do you mean by that, Pastor?" Lukas couldn't keep out the rudeness completely out of his voice as he felt offended on something he spent hours trying to build. Berwald didn't react and merely smiled that looked more like a grimace and a disturbing look. The man really shouldn't try to smile, Lukas thought to himself.

After a moment of awkward silence Berwald apologized, "I didn't mean ta be rude. It's just an obvious assumption. It's leanin'."

Lukas didn't answer and merely looked away, pretending he spotted something interesting.

"Don' worry I grew up on a farm of sorts. We'll get this built soundly." Berwald persisted. This caught Lukas' eye and he accepted Berwald's help. "That would be nice." Lukas half muttered.

"Ya, c'mere and watch me tie these knots correctly." The religious man began as he instructed Lukas in what he did wrong. "Yer problem is yer not tying them securely enough causing this ta lean." Slowly he showed Lukas how to do it correctly, looping them in a fancy way that caused the wood to bind securely.

It took several hours of correcting and teaching before they created a four walled structure. By then Lukas was exhausted and wanted to collapse. They took a break and by eating in Lukas' much cooler shack.

"Yesterday you told me Mathias wasn't to be trusted again. Why?" Lukas asked suddenly making Berwald frown at the question.

Slowly, Berwald answered, "It seems to always be about Mathis with ya." He joked but didn't spark so much as a smile with Lukas, "Some things shouldn' be talked about."

"You mean you're not going to tell me?" Lukas asked slightly offended. He felt like he was being treated like an outsider. And maybe he was, but he lived side by side with Mathias and deserved to know more about the deaf person.

"No, at least not today." Berwald revealed. "Truth be told, I did a lot of prayin' and I've decided that keepin' Mathias away from the village is for the best. M'words were not thought through yesterday an' I think keepin' Mathias out here with ya is far better than him bein' hunted by the villagers."

"And, somehow I feel what you don't want to reveal his past because it would make me shoo him away?"

"Correct. It is truly a horrifying and… Only ya need ta know Lukas, is that Mathias means well despite his sometimes unexplainable actions." Berwald struggled to find the right words.

"I understand, perhaps we can speak about something I realized yesterday."

"On what exactly? Is this still on Mathias?" Berwald asked quizzically.

Lukas nodded slightly. "You see last night he slept in my house and I smashed my door as hard as I could with his back to me… Berwald I think Mathias is deaf, not crazy."

Berwald's frown deepened and he said strictly, "Lukas, if ya knew what I did you would know that isn't the case. Don't challenge God. He made Mathias the way he is and to try to make sense of it is the folly of mankind." Lukas opened his mouth to arguing but Berwald held up a hand and silenced him. "We will continue this another day. I need ta return to the village. I hope to see ya on Sunday on time."

"Certainly." Lukas said through gritted teeth. He walked Berwald to the door and watched him leave before returning to his house to relax some more. Lukas felt irritated in what the pastor said and he couldn't help but start thinking about Mathias. What was it that he had done that Berwald wouldn't speak of it? And now suddenly he had Berwald's blessing to interact with Mathias? Something told Lukas that Mathias didn't commit a crime of violence but something much, much worse. And worst of all, Berwald, the one person Lukas had thought would agree with him didn't believe Mathias was deaf. Maybe he had been wrong?

No, he was certain he was correct. The fact that even the local educated priest didn't believe him made Lukas want to try harder and prove them all wrong by shoving it in their faces. Unfortunately Lukas knew he couldn't sit there and loaf around any longer, so he no choice but to get up and began work once more.

After a few days, Lukas started to dig a ditch to his house from a spring. It was brain numbing work and the spring was several meters uphill from the house. But Lukas' hunger for a properly heated bath pushed him to dig. Though a hot bath was his main goal, Lukas knew that it would allow him to plant and irrigate his crops as well. It was during this time that Lukas began to seriously contemplate how to communicate with Mathias. He figured out it would have to be by hand gestures. Lukas could remember Mathias showing simple gestures like pointing to home when he helped Lukas carry his chickens home. But Lukas would have to go beyond pointing to get Mathias to understand him.

So, slowly he created simple signs for things around the house. They were unsophisticated concepts that if repeated, Mathias would catch on. But after almost a week Lukas hadn't spotted Mathias and he began to wonder if Mathias had moved on to a different spot. Which would be strange since Lukas supplied him with free meals. He still left out meals in case Mathias returned suddenly. But each time Lukas went to check on the plate just before bed the plates hadn't been touched. Lukas tried to look on the bright side, he had more time to experiment and remember his hand signs.

When Lukas finally saw Mathias again it was almost as if he appeared out of thin air. Lukas was still working on the ditch when Mathias walked from the rubble making funny sounds at him. His hands were well blistered and Lukas was glad to stop for the day. Stomping on his shovel so it stuck deeply in the ground, Lukas lifted up his dirty shirt to wipe his sweaty face before approaching Mathias and the house. Slowly and trying to not make any sudden movements he approached his door and opened it, keeping his eyes on Mathias in case he startled him. Then he pointed to Mathias then to the doorway and used both of his hands bringing them up to his lips as if he were going to eat. He waited a moment to see if Mathias even remotely understood.

Mathias looked at him dumbly for a moment and Lukas repeated, then his eyes opened wide and he gave Lukas a cheeky grin. Lukas gave him a tight smile before he went inside, followed by Mathias. Indoors Lukas had constructed a crude table that sat in the corner. There were only two seats that weren't in the least comfortable constructed from scraped wood. Slowly, Lukas pointed towards the table and Mathias listened, and sat to watch Lukas happily. Lukas dug into his trunk and took out some cheese and bread for them and from the previous night he had cooked some beats. Though they were cold and tasted bitter they would be perfect for Lukas' experiment.

Placing their food on the table, he laid the forks next to their bowls even though he knew Mathias would only attempt to eat with his hands. Sure enough he was correct and Mathias stuck one filthy hand into the mushy beats before slapping the food in his mouth. Quickly, Lukas pulled his bowl away making Mathias whine and try to grab the bowl. His eyes flashed with hurt and confusion. Lukas did his best to twist his face into a friendly smile.

Nervous, Lukas used his hand and brought it to his chest and said, "Me." There was no reaction in Mathias' face but he continued and motioned back towards Mathias. "You."

"Do you understand?" Lukas asked as he repeated the signs three more times before adding two more signs, "I pick up fork." With that Lukas picked up his fork and placed it near his mouth before placing it on the table. Mathias eyes were following him attentively. "You pick up fork." Lukas waited for a moment, but Mathias didn't do anything yet and just continued to watch Lukas as he tried to figure out what he was doing. "I pick up fork." "You pick up fork." He repeated several times before adding, "I eat with fork. You eat with fork." With that Mathias shyly grasped his fork and motioned with his hand, 'I eat with fork.' before he dipped the utensil into the mush and taking a bite. Lukas nodded yes and Mathias' eyes light up with wonderment.

A loud sound erupted from Mathias mouth that sounded a lot like, "Kuuuu." As he resigned to Lukas, 'You eat with fork.' And Lukas nodded yes. Excitement went through Mathias as he stood abruptly and laughed loudly in a way that made no sense. It made Lukas look at him warily but the deaf man quickly sat once more before grabbing his bowl and looking at him insistently. Lukas blinked slowly and Mathias got his attention by banging his bowl on the table. Lukas cupped his hands and said, "Bowl."

'I eat with bowl.' Mathias stated and Lukas laughed and nodded. He was technically right.

"I have shirt. You have shirt." Lukas tossed more words for Mathias causing the deaf man to let out excited sounds and nod.

Mathias responded by flashing signs in front of Lukas quickly, 'I have shirt. I have bowl. I have fork. I eat with fork.'

Lukas added another concept, "You don't eat with shirt."

Mathias let out another laugh at the outrageous sign. 'I don't eat with shirt, with fork.'

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**Sorry that this chapter was short. I have finals next week and I will be leaving for Montana on the 6th so I thought I should leave you guys something incase I am not able to update until I return. The chapters will begin to get longer now that Mathias is now on his way to talking. Thank you for all the reviews and faves. Means a lot guys. **


	5. Gifts for More Knowledge

**Okay so I worked hard to find time to finish another chapter for you guys before I leave for Montana. I leave tomorrow bright and early so if this seems rushed I am sorry. Remember to review!**

**Also polkadot572 I did this beginning for you. I hope you like this pov. **

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The sun had gone up several times since Mathias had left his safe place and he couldn't stop smiling since he left. Mathias only stayed for an hour after night had fallen that perfect day. He couldn't sleep and his home felt more like a prison than a place to sleep as he tossed and turned with the warmest feeling bubbling in his chest. Mathias' excitement kept his body humming with energy and he kept fidgeting and practicing the signs. Even though the strange man had tried to communicate with him, Mathias needed to run and expel all of his happy energy. And it was a good run, there was dew in the grass and he could feel the whirr of bugs as they shook up the night air with their activities. Within his chest it vibrated like the bugs around; happy and unable to keep still.

It took many suns and moons for Mathias to finally stop teeming with happiness and finally revel thoughtfully on the wondrous event. He squatted, posed over a stream watching his reflection. His smile greeted him as he signed himself in the water. 'I eat with fork.' He told himself before laughing excitedly, and splashing the water with his palm. The mere motion of his hands making thoughts caused Mathias to feel that energy start up again and he leapt out of the stream before letting out happy vibrations from his throat.

Someone had come for him again at last. The world had turned cold and died many times for Mathias since the last time he felt compassion. But thinking about the last man brought tears to Mathias' eyes. Where had he gone? He still didn't understand why he came home one day to find him gone and his home burnt to the ground. Mathias could remember the panic in his chest as he searched the scalding hot ash for a body, for a sign. There wasn't anything to find, only angry villagers that caught him and brought him to the church to be beaten.

The beating had cleaved Mathias once happy world open. His happiness had begun when the world was white and ended when everything was slowly becoming cold again. In that short time he became grateful to the man who provided him food and sheltered. He even allowed Mathias to build things. Creating items out of wood was a passion Mathias would never have an opportunity to exercise. Living out in the wilderness took too much time out of Mathias' life. But when he made things, his last companion he would always smile at him and do so much more. And he missed those moments where he was warm and comfortable and held.

The smile on Mathias face melted as he remembered the bittersweet memories. As hard as he tried to not believe that he was some type of monster, Mathias felt it. No one wanted to be around him, only young children that didn't know better and animals. Why else would everyone violently beat him? And his previous companion had left too probably because he finally saw what Mathias truly was.

Without realizing it, Mathias felt hot tears running down his cheeks. Wiping the tears with his fingertips, Mathias frowned at the droplets before sitting up and letting out a shaky sigh. He didn't need to be thinking about such things. At that moment he had someone trying to reach out to him and that was something special. And no matter how much Mathias thought and reminiscence he wouldn't bring back his first real home. So he left the creek running, trying to lift his heavy heart by feeling the good adrenaline rush of exertion.

Once Mathias was at the sea he slipped off his shirt and pants before diving into the cool water. The sudden shock of cold made Mathias gasp out loudly. His thoughts drifted back to the new nice man. Holding out his hands, Mathias realized he didn't know how to say 'the sea' and he didn't know what to call the force that always beat on his skin making him warm or hot. The sudden urge to go back and learn hit Mathias but he felt weary. This man had shown him kindness but that could end… he would need to give him a reason to keep him.

Without regarding his nudity, Mathias went to a crevice in cliffs and grabbed out a spear he made for fishing before jogging back to the rocks. For hours he squatted on his haunches fishing out the sea and tossing his catch on his shirt. After catching enough to make a good enough of an offering he pulled on his pants and began to walk along the beach to the docks. Mathias knew better than to show himself naked in front of others. He found clothing silly and uncomfortable on warms days, but… he didn't want to scare of his new companion. And his companion seemed to give him gifts in return so this was a good sign. Maybe the fish would prompt him to show him more. The very thought made Mathias feel nervous and giddy at once.

After climbing up the cliffs, Mathias could smell the wood smoke coming from his shack. There was a small billowing plume of smoke. The yard had transformed some and a stream of water sloped down the hill and ran towards the fields. As he approached Mathias saw his companion lounging in a metal container with a fire next to him. Suspicious of the scene Mathias looked around. Was there villagers? Did they know that he was here and they were going to boil and eat his new companion as a punishment? For several tense moments Mathias looked and breathed deeply for the scent of their foul flesh. But he saw his companion proud some coals underneath the container and stretch before submerging his whole body and rubbing his scalp. Slowly it dawned on Mathias that the man was bathing. Walking up to the man Mathias presented himself by letting his throat vibrate. His new companion shot up and whirled around at Mathias, his eyes wide.

For a moment Mathias felt as if he should flee and leave, but his companion looked surprised and not hostile. Mathias smiled at him sheepishly as the other man began to blush and cover his nudity with his clothes. The other man acted as if he was embarrassed of his body and this puzzled Mathias. To him, the other man was slim but desirable to look at. With his companion pulling on his clothes Mathias thrust out his arms and presented the fish with a broad grin. Surely this man would be proud.

Instead he saw him sign something that Mathias didn't understand. His eyes widened when he noted it was a new sign and looked at him pleadingly to show him again. '… for the fish.' What was that part before? Mathias did the unknown sign and looked up at him questioningly but his companion merely smiled and signed, 'You gave me fish …' there it was again, what was it?

'I give you fish you say… then I say …' A new word. Mathias focused on his companions hands eagerly.

'You give me fish I say… then you say…' Mathias frowned not sure what he was seeing but they did a few more sentence and practiced. Finally it slowly dawned on Mathias.

'Thank you for the fish.' His companion had signed.

'You're welcome.' Mathias signed back seeing his companion smile happily and there was a glint of something that Mathias hadn't seen in another person in a long time. Proud. His companion was proud.

'Come.' The other man signed and Mathias followed as they entered the house. His companion had his fish and at the table he gutted them skillfully. Sitting there and watching Mathias tried to remain calm and patient. But there were so many things this man could teach him and he wasn't showing, he was just cleaning fish. Mathias slammed his palm on the table to get his companion to look at him and Mathias began to sign urgently.

'What. What. What.' He pointed and his companion kept his face calm before he signed back to Mathias. 'What …' Two more signs he didn't know and Mathias felt frustrated but Lukas then signed, '… fish.'

His companion then looked at Mathias questioningly before signing again, 'What …' and then again, '… fork.'

'What is this?' Mathias slowly caught on.

'This is a fish.'

'What is this you…' Mathias couldn't think his head hurt and his companion flashed more signs and Mathias struggled to understand.

'What is this you do?'

'I am flaying fish.'

'Why you flay fish?'

'So we can eat them.'

The list grew quickly and Mathias felt empowered once more pointing at things and being able to properly ask what things were. But slowly his companion began to tire and he told Mathias to sit. And so he did because he was willing to do anything for his companion to show him more.

'I …' his companion started. 'You…' Frowning and copying Mathias copied but his face showed he didn't understand.

'I … and I cook fish. You …. and you give me fish.'

"I am Lukas and I cook fish. You are Mathias and you give me fish.'

'My name is Lukas. Your name is Mathias.' Those two little sentences warmed Mathias up more than he had ever felt. He had an identity. There mere notion made Mathias reach over and grab Lukas' hands and smile broadly. He just wanted to touch and tell him somehow how much this meant to him and to not stop. He stamped his foot and let out several sounds and smiled.

Lukas withdrew his hands and said, 'You're welcome.'

Mathias let out a triumphant sounds before signing back, 'I am Mathias, thank you.'

Xxx

For almost a month Mathias came every day to Lukas with fish and demanded lessons from Lukas. Slowly they worked together in building up his vocabulary. Lukas struggled to keep up with Mathias at times. Whatever he taught him, the deaf man just soaked it up. Often times, Lukas would sign sluggishly and even mix up signs while Mathias signed precisely and always correctly. And Lukas couldn't think quick enough to give Mathias new signs and new words. But he tried his best and worked hard to the point he felt his brain was about to break. Mathias wasn't always patient either. A few times he left, angry and frustrated at Lukas. But he was always back the following morning with food and signing, 'Sorry.'

That early morning Mathias had returned while Lukas prepared them some food. Along with Lukas teaching Mathias, his new friend was helping him construct a pen for any livestock they may buy later that year. Berwald had informed him that there would be a horse coming up for sale soon and with Mathias' unexplainable building skills, Lukas felt he could possibly buy this horse. Saying that Mathias was just skilled was also an understatement. One of the first things Lukas had to teach Mathias was how to properly instruct him in holding a plank of wood to tying knots. Berwald had been a good teacher, but Mathias seemed to tie the boards securely in a matter of seconds. He even hammered the few precious nail into the plank with little mistakes.

'You hold wood tighter.' Mathias instructed firmly as Lukas dozed off, bored from the work.

Lukas nodded and gritted his teeth and he put his weight into it. 'Not so tight. You will hurt neck.' Mathias laughed slightly.

'I want to finish this house.' Lukas explained with irritation. The sooner the pen was built the better.

Mathias just grunted to Lukas' moody answer and slammed his rock into the nail until it was flushed with the board. For hours they worked with the sun beating down on them making them sweat profusely. It was becoming summer and Lukas knew soon he would have to travel back to Oslo to borrow money for supplies from his father. Or at least he hoped he would give him money. Lukas had sent word but hadn't received any back. The idea of home made Lukas yearn for it.

'You are not thinking here.' Mathias signed still with a smile. 'You need to keep mind on here.'

'I know.' Lukas grumped to Mathias.

'You do good, I get you water for bath.' Lukas crooked an eyebrow at the bribe but found himself concentrating more. Mathias liked to please Lukas and give him gifts. He figured it was because Lukas was the only person in the world who could talk to him or was nice to him.

'Yes like that.' Mathias signed before hammering another board in.

They had finished one wall when Lukas heard horse trotting. 'Someone comes.' Lukas said after Mathias finished hammering another nail. His words made Mathias stiffen and he slowly stepped into the shade of the new pen. 'You be okay.' Lukas reassured but Mathias didn't say a word, he just kept looking intensely at the rider.

At first Lukas thought it was Berwald coming to visit but when he saw a greasy man with long hair riding with a horse in tow, he frowned. "Greetings, what can I do for you." Lukas said neutrally.

The main tipped his boiled leather hat at Lukas before saying gruffly, "I've come to barter. Pastor Berwald said to sell this old horse to ya."

Lukas looked at the horse and it looked miserable. Its mouth was slack and old, probably toothless and had a robust figure from its old age. But it would have to do for Lukas. He couldn't afford a proper horse. "Can it pull and wagon and plow?" he inquired.

"Plow? No, you'd kill it. But he's well behaved and used to a wagon." The man answered sourly.

"I see…" Lukas answered thoughtfully as Mathias tugged on his sleeve to get his attention. He side glanced to see Mathias sign, 'What goes on?'

Quickly and stiffly Lukas answered, 'I get that.' Lukas pointed before making up a sign for horse on the spot, 'Maybe. I need horse.'

Lukas turned to the man and said, "What's its age?"

The seller spat on the ground answered, "Sixteen, possibly more."

Before Lukas could answer Mathias was tugging on his sleeve once more, 'What Mathias?'

'I don't like him.' He stated firmly.

"What is going on there? What's wrong with his hands?" The seller inquired.

'I need horse.' Lukas insisted even though Mathias clung to his sleeve desperately.

"God's blood, is that Mathias!" the man hissed between his teeth.

"It is, but-"

"I'll have him skinned, out of the way-"

'Lukas run, please.'

Lukas pushed Mathias back roughly before saying sternly, "Mathias lives here."

"What ya doing with your hands?" he demanded as he watched Lukas sign reassuring words.

"Nothing I am just making him understand. Now about that horse, how much." Lukas changed the subject. The man looked at him disgusted before saying stiffly, "One silver piece."

It wasn't a good price but Lukas could hear Mathias making loud whining and throaty sounds behind him and this man kept looking at Mathias in a hostile way. "I accept. Let me get the money." Lukas grabbed Mathias by the wrist and they walked briskly inside the shack. Once inside, Mathias wrapped his arms firmly around Lukas. For several moments they stood there with Mathias shaking slightly and letting out pitiful sounds. Wiggling his hands free, Lukas tried to get Mathias to look.

'It is okay. Let me get horse.'

'He no good, Lukas. Please don't go. Stay.' Mathias pleaded his eyes looking at him sadly and full of fear. Lukas didn't have to guess that this man was one of the many villagers that beat Mathias.

'Stay in house. I be back. Okay?'

'No, you stay here. I don't want you to hurt.' Mathias argued back.

'Breath in and out twenty times and I be here.' Lukas said with confidence as he reached in his chest for the money. As he walked out the door, Mathias grabbed his hand in a last ditch effort.

'Please…' Mathias said with a low whine.

'Stay.' Lukas said sternly before walking out to the greasy man.

Handing over the purse, Lukas said, "Here," and the man tossed him the reigns without another word and rode off. As soon as he was out of sight Mathias came running out signing, 'It is twenty.'

'He is gone.'

Mathias looked around and inspected the land slightly before nodding in agreement. Lukas felt tired all of a sudden from Mathias and sloppily tied the horse to its almost constructed pen. Leaning his sweaty head on the wall, Lukas closed his eyes and tried to clear his mind. He could feel Mathias standing close and he eventually opened them before giving Mathias a cool look. 'I am tired.'

'I get you a bath.' Mathias said slowly.

'Thank you.'

Lukas slowly left the horse and entered the house where he slumped on the cool ground listening to the sloshing of Mathias dumping the buckets of water into the water. If Lukas wasn't tired he would find the act rather amusing. Mathias had never bathed since they started their lessons, but he certainly knew of Lukas' weakness. Without living here, Mathias was observant enough to note how Lukas enjoyed. It made him smile. Back at home there was no time for anyone to sit and care about what Lukas liked or wanted. It was nice.

Yet Mathias left every evening to sleep out on the cold ground leaving Lukas to sit lonely in his shack. There was no reason for Mathias to leave either he figured, so he got up and leaned in the door way as he watched Mathias work fastidiously. Picking up a small pebble, Lukas tossed it lightly so it hit Mathias on the back to get his attention. His eyes were always so wide and ready to soak up whatever Lukas might say and it made Lukas smile warmly at his friend.

Signing slowly Lukas tried to pick out his words, 'I want you to stay here.' How did he make that sound like he wanted him to live here, not just stay put. 'Sun after sun after sun. Do you understand?'

His eyes grew wider and he focused on Lukas' hands. 'This is my house?' Mathias signed unsurely.

'Yes.'

'I stay here in my house?'

'Yes.' Lukas answered his face breaking into a bright smile.

Mathias made a few sounds that he didn't understand and walked up to Lukas. At first he thought Mathias only meant to hug him or pat him on the shoulder, but instead he felt Mathias' lips peck firmly against his cheek. Mathias lingered for a moment and it made Lukas freeze in confusion. After the innocent peck on the cheek ended Lukas heard Mathias chuckle and babble senselessly as he expressed his joy with his voice. It was flat and disturbing, but Lukas couldn't help but feel… weird.


	6. Concept of God

**Gosh thank you all for the reviews. I came back from Montana and smiled when I saw them plus the faves and follows. You guys are great, thank you. Also I just want to give you guys a heads up, this fic will be rated M soon. Probably within the next chapter or the following. Though at first it won't be explicit at first, I may post a more smutty version on my tumblr account. I'm not sure if I will do this or not, I am pretty lazy. **

* * *

With Mathias living with Lukas, restoration of his farm progressed quickly. The work was just too tiring and impossible for Lukas to do on his own, so the extra pair of hands helped. But it wasn't just the farm that Mathias helped with. By the end of the first week, he constructed a large bed in the house and had even stuffed it with fresh straw. Seeing that Mathias had constructed one bed perplexed Lukas. When he asked, 'Why did you make one?' the response he received with a genuine smile from Mathias was, 'Why would I make two?'

Lukas didn't question it any further and merely worked hard alongside his new friend. They labored peacefully quiet with Lukas stopping every hour to practice and create new words for Mathias. Happily Mathias cooperated and tried to contribute. But Mathias' signs were often times too complicated and strange for Lukas to comprehend. For an angry emotion, Mathias had suggested them to just bare their teeth. Lukas found it disturbing and awkward and instead pushed for a slashing motion with his hands. Mathias didn't like his suggestion being revoked, but it was nowhere near the displeasure of when Lukas invited him to go to church.

'Everyone must go.' Lukas argued when Mathias gave him a disgusted look and a stern no.

'Who orders everyone must go?' Mathias demanded.

Lukas scrunched up his face, not sure why Mathias was so dead against going. The conundrum was getting Mathias to understand the importance of church. But how was Lukas supposed to explain God to Mathias? And what good would it do for Mathias if he went to church without understanding why they were there in the first place? He had always been taught that God's love could reach the most wretched of creatures and there wasn't a better place for Mathias to feel God than a church even if he couldn't hear the pastor preaching. So he pushed on, believing himself to be in the right.

'There is a man in the sky who likes us all. We must go to the church so he knows we like him back.' Lukas tried to explain.

Mathias' eyes widened at the signs, 'There is a man in the sky?'

Lukas pursed his lips. Should he try to explain further or not? Already he had lost Mathias from their limited words for communication. It was imperative for Lukas to convince Mathias and not having the words to describe his thoughts made Lukas' head throb and ache. If the villagers saw Mathias at church, then they might accept him. With their acceptance Mathias could live a normal life amongst them, so Lukas theorized.

'Yes.' Lukas decided to sign.

Mathias clapped his hands before signing back, 'Is he the one who makes us hot? That makes everything light?'

Lukas let out a frustrated sigh, 'No that is the sun. You can't see the man.'

'You can't.' Mathias once again frowned, clearly not liking the conversation again. 'How can you like something you cannot see? If you can't see, smell, or touch this man then how do you know it exists?'

'Because there are things you must know without touching or seeing.' Lukas argued back frustratingly. 'It is like knowing the sun will come up each day.'

'But you can see the sun.' Mathias said with triumph.

Lukas shook his head and gave and just stubbornly signed, 'You are going to church.'

'No.'

'Why now?' Lukas gritted his teeth which caused Mathias to huff at him and ruffle Lukas' hair. Mathias' fingers trembled and Lukas noticed how Mathias' lips curled nervously. Something was wrong.

'Why?' Lukas found himself persisting making Mathias look sadly at him.

'I don't like the church. They are like wolves. They look nice but will try to eat you.'

For a moment Lukas had to think on Mathias' meaning. Mathias meant the church was evil. The very thought made Lukas' mouth dry and his heart beat sickly. Mathias didn't know better and Lukas figured there had to be something behind his words. Between what he knew from Berwald, he was sure of this so he asked, 'You don't like the man at the church?'

'The man in...' Mathias raked his brain trying to figure out how to describe the horrible person, 'with wind like clothes is the most wolf-like.'

Berwald. Mathias was clearly describing him. It made no sense for Berwald was the kindest person in the village towards Mathias. 'They are not like wolves. They are like people who take sheep to a better place. We are the sheep and the man in the sky is the better place.'

'So the man in the sky is also a house?' Mathias asked halfheartedly as he was growing tired and agitated at the conversation.

'Yes.' Lukas signed trying to manipulate Mathias into going to church. 'You will go to church.'

Mathias stood and he let out a strangled, deep sound from deep within his throat. His eyes were livid. 'You have strange words, Lukas. I will not go to this place in the sky and I won't go to church.' With that, Mathias stormed out of the house leaving Lukas completely alone.

For a moment, Lukas sat there dumbfounded at Mathias' reaction. For two months he had led Mathias, showing him things and teaching him things. This was the first time Lukas had been defied. Even when they argued Mathias had always relented. Outside he could hear Mathias chopping wood and making angry sounds with that unnatural voice. Slowly it occurred to Lukas that he may have overstepped his boundaries. He wasn't a people person and had a hard time in reading people. Lukas simply wanted his way and to push people to do what he thought was right and he didn't stop even when they were clearly becoming angry with him. And to Lukas, Mathias was like his child and now Lukas was starting to realize that he wasn't. Mathias was still learning to express himself but underneath his simply signed sentences laid a man who was intelligent and grown.

This didn't change the fact that turning Mathias into a god fearing man could mean a better life amongst the villagers. Maybe if he went to church every day they would allow him to go into town and maybe people would learn a few simple signs so Mathias could communicate as well. To Lukas, the possibilities were limitless, albeit unrealistic. In the end, Mathias wasn't as helpless as he treated him.

Sighing in frustration, Lukas remained in the house listening to Mathias loud sounds and the splitting of wood. When he came in he would apologize even though Lukas believed himself to be correct. He didn't have long to wait, Mathias came in with a load of wood and dropped it noisily in the corner. Their eyes met and Mathias was giving Lukas a displeased stare.

'You don't have to come.' Lukas signed carefully.

'Good. I wouldn't have gone. I won't go to the wolf's house.' Mathias answered absolute.

'I am sorry.' Lukas said stiffly.

Luckily, Mathias had a kinder heart than Lukas and plopped himself in front of Lukas with a cheeky grin. 'You are like a bull that charges for the things he wants.'

Lukas despite himself let out a soft chuckle, 'Bull headed. I have been called it before.'

'Will you go to the sea with me?' Mathias asked suddenly and almost eagerly. Lukas gave Mathias a small smirk. Even if Mathias was grown, he still had a childlike wonder and forgiveness.

'For fish?'

'No.' Mathias shook his head. 'It is good day to go in sea. It is hot.'

'To swim, you mean?' Lukas signed unsure.

'Yes, that. Will you. We can wave to the man in the sky on the way there if you want.' Mathias joked openly. If Lukas had been a more religious man he would have been offended but he found himself laughing to his ridiculous description of god as well.

'Okay let's go to the sea.' Lukas consented before standing.

Leaving his shack Lukas was greeted with the hot sun and was glad of Mathias' idea. The cool water would feel good. From the house he could smell the sea salt air and heard the crashing of the waves, welcoming them. As the descended the rickety stairs Lukas thought about Mathias a little bit more. For two months they had lived together and Lukas never asked about Mathias' past. It was always work or inventing new words. So Lukas started up a new conversation by asking, 'Where do you come from?'

'Where did I come from?' Mathias repeated not quite grasping the concept. 'I have always been here.'

'You have lived in this village since you were small?'

'No, I came from sea to here. With a woman… I don't know where she went. But I lived with… the wind clothed man… 'robed man'' he dubbed it as he walked and thought long and hard on his signs. 'But this robed man was not the one that is there now. He was old and very evil.'

Lukas fell silent once more as they descended further. He knew there had to be another pastor before Berwald considering his age. And the way Berwald talked of the secrets it was as if it occurred before his arrival. It made sense because Lukas didn't believe Berwald had been a part of the village's wrong doing from the way Berwald stride to protect Mathias. Whatever the previous pastor had done to Mathias it was clear that it clouded the deaf man's judgment of Berwald making him overlook whatever kindness Berwald tried to show him.

Lukas wanted to pry more information but Mathias asked before Lukas suddenly, 'Where do you come from?'

'I come from…' Lukas paused not knowing how to say south. He looked above him and saw that sun was shining overhead making it impossible to tell which way was Oslo. Instead he guessed and said, 'That way for a long ways.'

'I think I come from there too.' Mathias revealed. 'Maybe we are from the same place.'

Lukas chuckled at Mathias' naivety and signed, 'Unlikely.'

'Why you come here?' Mathias inquired after laughing lightly.

'It is hard to explain… there was this woman we were together, closer than you and I. But she is gone and I was given our home.' Lukas revealed neutrally.

Approaching the beach, Mathias hummed loudly as he thought deeply. 'Why is she gone? What happened to her?'

'Stopped…' Lukas breathed in deeply and out motioning to the action before creating the sign, 'breathing.'

Mathias gave Lukas a sad look. 'I don't like when that happens.'

'No, of course not.'

'I am sorry. Bad it happened.'

Lukas shrugged, 'She is gone and there is nothing that can change that. But she is with the man in the sky now and I have my…' Freedom. What a concept to describe to Mathias.

'Have your what?' Mathias pushed wanting to hear the rest of Lukas' story.

'My father he has three sons and many daughters. I am not the one he needs. So I lived like a bird that cannot fly. With this land I can fly. That feeling… I need a sign.'

'Breast flutter?' Mathias suggested and Lukas shook his head. To him that sounded like love.

'Bird like?' Mathias suggested again and Lukas nodded which made Mathias very pleased. It was one of the first signs Lukas accepted from Mathias.

'I have my freedom here. I can live a new life.' Lukas continued.

'But she is gone. Do you not cry for her?' Mathias asked a little worried.

'We needed each other for ways that wouldn't make us cry for each other.' Lukas explained as he pulled off a boot. He kept his eyes to the ground wanting the conversation to end. Not loving his dead wife wasn't something Lukas was proud of. He knew he hadn't loved a woman outside of his sisters and mother. Lukas figured he loved material things more, and that was a sin, he knew. It was a bitter thought to know he had never had a sweetheart and Lukas went silent. His quietness didn't stop Mathias from tapping his shoulder to get Lukas' attention repeatedly.

'I am sad for you.' Mathias said. 'You never felt…' Mathias patted his heart and frowned deeply.

'Felt what?' Lukas asked but Mathias kept tapping his chest. It was in the rhythm of a racing heart. Slowly it occurred to Lukas that Mathias understood love. 'You have felt that?'

'Yes. It is a good feeling.'

Standing there on the beach, Lukas felt strangely alienated by Mathias confession. If even Mathias had experienced love then maybe there was something truly wrong with Lukas. No… there was no way that Mathias had experienced love. It must have been lust which he was sure was the most basic of instincts. But then again, Lukas couldn't remember the last time he looked at someone sinfully.

'I think we should swim.' Lukas signed hastily really now not wanting to speak about his wife and past life any longer.

* * *

The following week Mathias woke to the smell of fish being cooked. Rolling over he saw Lukas stooped over his fire, concentrating. It amazed him how early Lukas could get up at times. That morning the sun was barely up and Lukas didn't look like he had slept. His eyes were half lidded and dark with heavy bags. Even with his tired face Mathias found his new friend appealing. Though a bit bossy. Letting out a sound, Mathias caught Lukas attention and he signed, 'Morning' before climbing out of bed. His clothes were all on the ground before him.

Ever since Lukas had invited Mathias to live with him his nudity had been the topic of the mornings. Lukas wanted Mathias to wear clothes to sleep, and Mathias hated the way he would sweat and his clothes would cling to him at night. Even though it angered his friend, Mathias ignored him. It wasn't the first time Mathias had been frowned upon for not wearing clothes to bed. The robed men had slapped Mathias and beat him. But Mathias trusted Lukas and other than flushed cheeks and down casted eyes, Mathias didn't believe he was in danger of being beaten. And even if Lukas tried, he was smaller than Mathias and his attempts would look adorable especially with his red cheeks and fiery eyes. Arguing di make Mathias feel slightly nervous However, he couldn't help but admire the way Lukas' eyes flashed hotly at him. Most times when men came after Mathias their eyes were dull and lifeless. That's how he knew Lukas meant him no harm when they fought. His eyes told all.

'I put on my clothes.' Mathias said quickly as Lukas signed with his head turned, 'Clothe yourself.'

He did it slowly as he watched Lukas with his back turn squirm uncomfortably. For his height, Lukas had broad shoulders but a slim waist and Mathias couldn't stop admiring how pretty his friend looked. He reminded him of something he had saw, but when Mathias tried to think on what it was he realized even if he could recall it he would probably not have the sign for it.

Pulling on all of his clothes Mathias yawned and stretched before lurching forward and tapping Lukas on the shoulder. 'Done.'

'Good.' Lukas said with a frown that only caused Mathias to smile even broader. Mathias quickly went outside to the ditch where he splashed on his face. The cold water always helped Mathias wake, so did the smell of the morning. Inhaling deeply, Mathias could smell their old horse and the chickens creating a pleasant scent. Living inside a safe place with a friend was nice, but Mathias had lived many cold and hot seasons to be more accustomed to the open spaces. Just from the way the morning smelt Mathias knew it would be a hot day. His senses were that keen.

Behind him he could feel Lukas' footsteps exiting the house and the smell of hotly cooked fish. When a plate was brought in front of him, Mathias grinned and took it happily. 'Thank you.'

'You're welcome.' Lukas signed in return before plopping down next to Mathias in the grass. Mathias could smell that Lukas had soaped up his hair that morning and he couldn't smell a hint of sweat on Lukas' body. He always smelt this good on Sundays, but it wasn't Sunday. It was one of those days in the middle of the week but Mathias couldn't remember their names. Either way, his cleanliness got Mathias' attention. Lukas loved to be clean and took many baths where he soaked, but it was only once a week he used soap.

'Why are you clean? It is not church day.' He asked between eating his meal.

Lukas gave him a nervous look before turning it into a half smile, 'We will have a visitor today.'

'Who?' Mathias asked with alarm. Villagers frightened him. Mathias was convinced that Lukas couldn't protect him. Suddenly his tasty fish tasted horrible and he placed his plate down. 'I think I should leave.' Self-perseverance was kicking in and Mathias felt his legs tingle for him to run.

'Please stay, Mathias. This man wants to meet you.'

'Meet me? Does he not know me?' Mathias asked confused. Maybe the person wasn't from the village.

'He does. But not like this. You have words now and he wishes to see it.' Lukas revealed making the situation not any better.

Mathias looked at the ground and frowned deeply, 'I don't want to meet him. Why should I speak with him and how can I?'

'I will tell him what you say.' Lukas smoothly signed.

'Does not matter. They hate me. They will hurt me. Why do they want to see? I don't understand Lukas.' Mathias babbled on with his hands before running his fingers into his dirty hair trying to shake away that heavy feeling in his chest.

'They will like you. They want to see if I am right about you.' Lukas explained making Mathias frown deeply.

'Right about what, Lukas?'

'That you are not dumb.' Lukas answered making Mathias stand.

He felt anger and hurt at Lukas' words. 'I don't care what they think.'

'But I do. You are a good person. I want to show them that. Please, Mathias. Do this for me.'

Lukas' words froze Mathias in his place. The kindness Lukas showed made Mathias feel obligated to move mountains and drink the sea dry if he was begged. But it didn't make him feel any better about the situation. The villagers were controlled by the wolves… talking to them would only end badly. Mathias knew this for certain. Just like he knew for certain that these long hot days he was experiencing would one day turn colder than ice.

'Only for you.' Mathias stated before sitting and picking up his plate to eat once more. But his appetite was ruined so he pushed his plate for Lukas to finish off. He remained there looking out into the horizon where he knew he would see someone arrive. Mathias didn't know when this visitor would arrive, but he refused to move even as Lukas went back inside. He needed to stay alert. There were some from the village that would hurt him on the spot.

When Mathias felt the rhythmic vibration of a horse trotting nearer he tensed and backed towards the porch. Loudly he stomped his foot, alerting Lukas of their 'guest'. He glared at the dark figure approaching and his heart began to race as he dreaded its arrival. Worst of all, Mathias could see the robes flowing behind the man. His heart didn't just pound, it leapt into his heart and he rushed inside as his whole body began to quiver and shake.

'Why is HE here?' Mathias signed desperately. 'I said I would not go to the church. Why did you not listen?'

Lukas calmly replied, 'He just wants to visit and see you sign is all.'

'Before what, Lukas? Before he does what?' his hands quaked and made his signs stutter. Already he wanted to go back on his word.

'You be okay. Just stand here and I will talk with him.' Lukas answered, patting Mathias lightly on the arm. All he could think of is why this was so important to Lukas.

The robed man slid off his horses and began talking to Lukas. His face was reserved and his brow was knitted grumpily as always. When Lukas motioned to Mathias, he couldn't help but note that Berwald looked as if he had just eaten something disgusting. His piercing eyes looked at Mathias and he backed up a few steps as the robed man motioned to him. Lukas and the robed man were moving their lips, conversing, as Lukas had tried to explain. Frantically Mathias looked on not knowing what was being said. He felt strong dread building up in his chest as he sat their marooned and alone in his own little world.

'Go inside and bring out three cups of beer.' Lukas' hands cut out in front of Mathias, startling him.

'It is ours. Why give to him?' Mathias asked, not wanting to share something he found tasty and precious. But Lukas didn't answer, his back was turned to him.

Ignored. Lukas was ignoring him in favor of this evil man. Hurt and anger twisted in his chest and Mathias could feel his heart beginning to hum faster and faster. Despite the panic and hurt, Mathias went inside and grabbed three cups and poured them all beer. Behind him he could feel the house shiver as two pairs of footsteps followed. Turning around, the robed man was seated at their crude table passively talking to Lukas. But his eyes fell onto Mathias analyzing his self-worth. And Lukas was just opening and closing his mouth not even looking at him. Was Lukas a friend? Was he just something to show to this man? Only when Mathias strode to the table did Lukas look up at him and smile slightly at him before returning to the robed man. In anger Mathias slammed all three of the mugs on the table, knowing the beer would slosh. The action made the other two jump and Berwald stood alarmed.

Mathias backed off and let out a soft vibration in his throat, but he remained strongly as he looked at the robed man. This was his home and he wouldn't be harmed in his home. Lukas was doing motions of gibberish to the robed man, trying to get him to sit down Mathias realized. When his friend turned to him, his eyes were flashing hotly at Mathias.

'Why did you do that?' Lukas demanded. Mathias didn't answer, he felt it didn't need to be answered. It was so obvious. When Lukas didn't receive an answer, he signed impatiently, 'Sit down and drink.'

Mathias didn't know why, but he obeyed sitting between the two men. Grumbling into his beer Mathias watched more. Berwald was frowning and Lukas was trying to explain something. Suddenly Lukas' hands signed, 'My name is…' There was a name attached to that sentence and when he saw the robed man clumsily imitate to Lukas he realized that Lukas had named this man. They practiced a few times before the robed man turned to Mathias and signed, 'My name is Berwald.'

Mathias snorted at the thought of actually giving this man a name and simply kept looking at him dumbly.

Lukas seemed alarmed by Mathias behavior and signed urgently, 'Tell him your name back, Mathias.'

'Oh, am I to do that?' Mathias mocked with resentment. Turning to Berwald he gave him a cheeky grin before signing, 'Hello I am Mathias. Happy to meet you wolf-" Mathias motioned with his hips and humped the air making his own sign and making it very clear to Lukas what he was calling him.

Berwald frowned and asked clearly what Mathias said. Lukas shook his head and Berwald got up to leave. They began to stand tensely as their mouths flapped furiously. Berwald simply shook his head and held up his hands making Lukas close his mouth. After his mouth moved a few times Berwald turned to leave. Mathias let out a long sigh, his body untensing.

But his moment of tranquility ended with Lukas whirling on him with anger. 'What have you done!' Lukas said in a rage.

'I served him beer.' Mathias answered contemptuously, still irritated by the whole visit and the ignoring.

'You slammed beer down.' Lukas whirled his hands heatedly. 'You made bad sign with…with your hips. You don't do that with a man like him. He thinks you can't talk now. He thinks you are bad and do bad things with your hips.'

Once again, their conversation was going down a path that Mathias had a hard time comprehending. How can one do weird things with their hips? Sure, he had called Berwald a wolf fucker and was rude about it. But it appeared that Lukas was angrier at the action and not the name.

'You don't do those hips. You do not do that with anyone unless you have been given to someone by… by the man in sky.' Lukas continued his cheeks flushed.

'I am sorry?' Mathias asked not sure what to say.

Lukas sighed into his hands and cradled his head in them as if he had a bad headache. But Mathias knew from the way his shoulders drooped that he was frustrated. Mathias began to wonder if his hurt and annoyance had been misplaced. Tapping his shoulders, Mathias said sincerely, 'I am sorry. I did not think that would hurt you. I wanted to hurt him.' It was honest and even though Lukas looked at him with disapprovingly, he knew it was true.

'I know. But it is not good to hate that person.' Lukas tried to explain his fury now drained from him. But his friend's face remained stern as he added, 'There are some things you must understand Mathias. There are things you cannot do for it will lead to bad things. This is one of them.'

Mathias stood their shocked, his whole body felt chilly at Lukas' words. Sadly, Mathias asked, 'Is that why they hurt me, Lukas?'

Lukas kept looking up at him and Mathias' pleaded with his eyes for an answer. Slowly, Lukas swallowed and answered, 'Yes. It is probably so. Sometimes. Only sometimes, though.'

'Lukas…' Mathias started, wanting to say things but stopped. Instead, Mathias shook off the ugly feelings and smiled. 'I will draw some water for you.'

'That will be nice.' Lukas said with an honest, pleasant smile.


	7. Unknown Warmth

**I am sorry this took so long. I had a hard time writing this chapter for some odd reason. Soon the story shall be heading in another direction and the plot will be rolling along. I hope this chapter is not too tedious. I tried to keep it as entertaining as possible. I am super nervous about this chapter so forgive me if I did bad ; - ; Also next chapter we will have a new POV so I can't wait to get it starting. Thank you for all the reviews, faves, and follows. You guys really great and I do feel like I might finish a multi chapter fic to the end from all of your support! **

* * *

'I have to go to town.' Lukas signed to Mathias mornings later. Their signing was becoming better, quicker, and more efficient. But those words always made Mathias frown.

'Why?' He said with a strong scowl on his face. Every time Lukas had to go to the village it made Mathias nervous. What if his friend never came back?

'A merchant from the south will be here. I am looking for a letter from my father. I asked him if he would be willing to lend me money if I paid him back in the spring more than he gives me now.'

Mathias nodded even though he didn't quite understand the concept of money. For years Mathias watched people exchange the shiny coins for things, but it didn't quite make sense. Why was it so valuable? It was smarter when a man traded a pig for two sheep, but not money. However, if Lukas' father said yes then Lukas would sail south, what would this mean for Mathias? The very idea of being alone punched a hole through his heart and caused him to fidget. Mathias could be alone again, but having a companion was so nice. It made Mathias feel human.

'Where do I go if you go to the south?' Mathias asked his face becoming sterner as he thought moodily on his loneliness.

'With me of course.' Lukas answered without a second thought.

'But our home, our animals, surely they cannot come to.' Mathias argued. Someone would have to look after the precious animals. They would die without them.

'I will hire a poor mountain boy. They will watch land and feed the animals for some gold and food.' Lukas explained.

'A stranger!' Mathias recoiled at the thought and his fists clenched tightly.

'One not from the village.' Lukas added in his defense.

'Better that way.' Mathias finally agreed, though his face remained drawn and unsure.

Lukas looked good humored and Mathias saw his throat jump as Lukas let out a small chuckle. His left hand patted Mathias on the shoulder and he signed with his right hand, 'You will like it. People will be nicer to you.'

'No wolves?' Mathias asked.

Lukas withdrew from the conversation, his eyes always unfocussed as his friend tried to think of how to explain something to Mathias. Sometimes minutes past and Mathias was ready to change the conversation when Lukas answered. But this reply came quick, 'Wolves are everywhere but are in different shapes.'

'A new danger?' Mathias asked unsure.

'Yes, that is exactly it.' Lukas answered slowly.

Knowing he had understood something correct made Mathias' heart soar for a moment. He always tried to impress his friend. The better he did the more Lukas smiled, and those smiles were the prettiest thing Mathias had ever seen. It made him feel light in his limbs but the big wide smiles were rare. Usually he just received a small one where the corners of Lukas' thin lips tugged ever so slightly. Only when Mathias really impressed Lukas did Mathias receive the prized wide, toothy smile. But to his disappointment, Lukas only smiled slightly.

'When I go to town, will you come? We won't go near the church. We will be at the beach where the merchants are.'

Mathias faltered for a moment, not sure what to say, 'The villagers hate me.'

'But if they saw you like you are now and don't make weird noses from your throat, then they won't hate you.' Lukas argued. Every time the village was brought up, his friend seemed to know how things always worked. Mathias wasn't sure if he did, but he knew one thing for sure: Mathias wanted to please Lukas.

'Will it make you happy?' Mathias asked slightly timidly, his heart racing.

'Yes.'

Mathias felt himself smile despite himself. His stomach was already coiling into a tight knot from the idea of going into town, but it would be worth it to get a true smile.

'Okay.'

'Well then, best we get the horse ready.' Lukas signed as he brushed off his filthy work clothes. It was not Sunday, so Lukas didn't need his finery.

Harnessing the horse was quick and easy, but fitting two men on the back of the old horse was another issue entirely. The old mare vibrated beneath Mathias as it struggled with their added weight at first. Luckily after they settled on its back, the horse walked slowly and steadily along the path. Mathias knew he could have run faster than the horse and made it to the village twice as fast as the horse, but he found the view from horseback interesting. And… Lukas would be near and he would be better at protecting him from the evils that were in the village. From behind a hill the village appeared and Mathias tensed and wrapped his arms around Lukas' middle harder. Lukas sensed his fear and Mathias felt minutely better when his hand patted his.

Instead of going into the village, they veered off to the right down into the beach. A few small vessels were tied at the docks or bobbing near the coast line. All were for fishing except for one, the trade ship that made its way up north ever so often. Only a handful of villagers were at the peer. Most people who lived in the village were too poor to buy the goods from the south. The ones that could were picky and tried to buy the goods bargained loudly for a low price.

They weren't as scary as the other villagers. Mathias only ran into trouble with the richer villagers a few times. But his eyes remained weary as he slid off the old mare and onto the sandy beach. Lukas tethered the horse to a piece of drift wood before they walked together to the docks. Everyone was busy chatting, but gradually they slowly noticed them and their eyes began to follow Mathias. Sweat started to form on Mathias' brow and he tugged Lukas' sleeve nervously.

'They are looking at me.' Mathias said shakily.

Lukas merely answered, 'I look at you all day.'

Of course he would get a witty and sarcastic answer back from Lukas. When it came to his fears Lukas never took him seriously. It hurt and it bit hard into Mathias' heart. But maybe he was right and he was being foolish. Yet, they still followed him with their angry eyes and their mouths began to flap.

'Don't look at them back. Follow me and look at me. They are not there, make yourself think that.' Lukas instructed as the settled at a vendor selling leather work.

Mathias tried to follow Lukas' commands as his friend began to speak with the merchant. His eyes looked at the curious things in front of him. A leather bound book, leather boots, leather hats, all things he saw but much more ornate and colorful. He reached out and touched one of the hats and felt just how soft the leather was. Lukas' hands cut in 'Do not touch what I cannot buy.'

His hand retracted and Mathias looked dejectedly as they talked on further. Lukas' lips puckered and Mathias guessed his friend received bad news. It didn't matter because he wasn't a part of Lukas' conversation. Bored, Mathias looked elsewhere; up at the sky and tilted his head from side to side watching the world tilt on its axis. Like Lukas said, Mathias didn't make his throat vibrate but he wanted to. He was bored and the vibrations in his throat were nice when he didn't have a thing to do.

Suddenly Lukas was tugging at his sleeve, and he signed, of course, 'Don't do that.'

'Okay.' Mathias signed but with a huff.

'He says I have no letter.' Lukas explained as the vendor picked up a pair of gloves and showed them to Lukas. They were a soft brown and looked like they would fit Lukas' hands snuggly.

'Does he want to give you the gloves?' Mathias asked unsure.

'No he wants to sell me them. He says my hands are a nice shape, but hard labor has made them ugly. The gloves would cover up the workhands.' Lukas explained, his face seemed sad and he saw him let out a sigh and his shoulders droop. Lukas talked to the man and shook his head, rejecting the gloves.

'Why did you say no?' Mathias asked. The gloves would have looked nice on Lukas' hands, Mathias decided though he didn't like how the vendor put it.

As they turned and walked away Lukas answered, 'I will not use money to waste on my ugly hands.' Lukas signed sharply. His harsh words were not for him, Mathias sensed.

Stopping, Mathias took Lukas' hands in his, holding and squeezing them. For a moment he wanted to hold them both and speak like those who could around him. But he couldn't so he let one drop and he signed with one hand, 'Your hands are not ugly. They are the prettiest hands I have ever seen.' Lightly he brought one to his lips kissing the knuckles lightly. 'You don't need gloves, Lukas.'

His friend's cheeks lit brightly as Mathias kept his knuckles to his lips. He was tempted to give them a few more kisses, but Lukas withdrew his hand as his eyes looked down at the ground. The shyness made Mathias chuckle and he reached out to ruffle his friends hair. Harshly Lukas knocked his hand away and began to walk away. Mathias would have felt hurt if it wasn't for the way he walked far too quickly and was trying to desperately not make eye contact with Mathias. Lukas was embarrassed over his actions, but Mathias sensed somehow it wasn't unwelcomed.

* * *

The sun beat down stronger than ever on Lukas as they worked. His skin was bright red from a sun burn and he felt delirious and weak from the work. Mathias was built of stronger stuff and kept pushing his spade into the ground as Lukas lagged behind and sluggishly pushed manure into their field. The manure smelt strong and Lukas breathed shallowly through his mouth, not wanting to inhale the stench. But his crops were struggling and the manure would help them grow. They were just lucky they finally repaired his wagon earlier that week. Now going between home and town was easy and they were able to bring back supplies… and manure.

Stopping for a moment, Lukas stretched his back and felt his spine pop in several places. His rye and oats were struggling to grow in the unused soil. They had been hammered with a summer rain for several nights making his crops slump sadly and stunting their already meager growth. Lukas didn't know much about farming, oddly Mathias was the one that came up with the idea of the manure.

'It will make the soil happy. Your crops will like it.' Mathias' explanation perplexed Lukas greatly. Sometimes the knowledge Mathias showed for certain subjects surprised him. Without understanding why Mathias had a knack for building things, farming, and next week they would thatch their roof. It was a blessing that Mathias held such skills. He had to take it as a blessing for whenever he asked where Mathias learned the skills, Mathias' face would fall and become really sad.

'I know because I know.' Was his answer each time and somehow the distraught look made Lukas' own chest beat painfully.

Mathias looked up at Lukas and smiled at him before signing, 'One more row. Then I will draw you a hot bath.'

'That will be very welcomed.' Lukas signed but reservedly before pushing more manure into the soil. Carefully they worked not to damage the little shoots of what looked like grass. Every now again he would unlodge pieces of rye and Lukas had to push them back into place. By the time they finished another row, his neck was burning with a large knot. He was all too glad to drop his spade and stumble over to the irrigation stream.

He was about to pick up the bucket to help Mathias haul the water, but Mathias shooed him away and motioned for him to lay in the shade. Gladly, Lukas did just that. For several minutes he laid there with his eyes closed, listening to the water being dumped into the tub repeatedly. Lukas didn't even open his eyes when he smelt smoke and heard the fire began to heat his bath. But after a while, Lukas got up and went inside the house and brought out their food to cook their dinner as the water heated. After the food was finished they ate in silence.

Mathias nudged Lukas' foot trying to get Lukas to look up, 'What?' He signed and Mathias just nudged him again without saying anything. Mathias was sometimes not understandable and Lukas signed with moodily, 'Why do you keep doing that?'

'You are too quiet.' Mathias said simply as if that was the only reason needed.

Lukas quirked one brow as he slowly realized that Mathias was picking on him. He withdrew his foot and set his plate down. 'I am just tired is all.'

'Good thing I made you a bath.' Mathias answered with a big smile on his face.

For a moment Lukas just stared at Mathias. The man was filthy but as the days went by he noticed more and more there was a good looking man under the thick layer of muck. But the dirt and grime couldn't cover up the way Mathias always looked lively and Lukas found it addicting. Each day he was around Mathias, the more Lukas found himself smiling. Now that Mathias was here with him there wasn't a day that went by for Lukas where he felt lonely. It slowly occurred to Lukas that possibly Mathias would look even better without all that filth on his skin. But first Lukas wanted to enjoy his clean water before badgering Mathias to clean himself.

'Yes, I can never thank you enough.' Lukas mocked as he stood and pulled off his work shirt. He tossed to the ground and saw that Mathias was still looking at him. Did he always stare at him before? Lukas didn't know why he asked himself and he found himself shrugging them away. It didn't matter even if Mathias kept looking up at him even as Lukas undid his pants. He turned away as he pushed off the rest of his clothing, his ears turning bright red as he slipped into the tub.

'It's a bit too hot, push the coals away.' Lukas signed shakily as he tried to adjust to the hot waters with his eyes slipped shut. Mathias did as he was told and Lukas could hear him scrape them away. His heart was beating slightly fast, Lukas realized and the hot water did nothing for his flushed face. Splashing his face, Lukas submerged and came up gasping for air. With one hand he rubbed his neck trying to work the monster knot that plagued him each day after a long day's work.

'Your neck hurt?' Lukas saw Mathias ask. He was standing above him silent as a rock so Lukas didn't notice just how close he had been. Suddenly he felt more conscience about his own nudity. Why was he still staring? Sometimes Mathias did things that made no sense and made Lukas feel frustrated. However frustration wasn't what he was feeling, just embarrassment.

'Yes.' He signed as confident as he could. 'You shouldn't stare.' He said after a moment.

'Why?' Mathias asked and this caused Lukas to slide down further into his bath and huff under the water. He didn't want to go there today.

'Just because.' Lukas signed before sitting up and rubbing his stinging shoulder.

Mathias walked behind Lukas before he leaned forward Lukas looked up at the messy haired man, 'Lean forward, I will fix your neck.'

Cautiously, Lukas leaned forward only to feel Mathias' rough hands grip his shoulders and rub them roughly. A long moan escaped Lukas' lips before he could think to keep it in. It felt good and he could feel the pain ebbing away with each gyration of Mathias' hands. He heard Mathias cup his hands in the water before bringing the water up to Lukas' hair and massaging his scalp. It felt so nice that Lukas felt himself sag and relax. Above him Mathias made those strange noises in his throat. They sounded nervous, but Lukas didn't care, he was in heaven.

After several minutes of bliss Lukas was interrupted by Mathias tapping him on his shoulder, 'you said many suns ago you have a brother and a lot of siblings.'

'You want me to tell you about them?'

'Yes.' Mathias answered before his hands resumed massaging Lukas' shoulders.

'Well my older brother, him and I don't get along. He is a few years older than me with a sister between us. He is just like my father. Very stubborn and very headstrong and he only cares about our tavern.' Lukas said as he felt a bitter taste in his mouth. 'But I have a little brother. His name is…' Lukas tried to think of a sign for his little brother. 'Emil… He is much younger than me. He is only eight. We shared a bed and he liked to read like me. He is very quiet and very smart.'

Mathias paused for a second before signing sadly, 'I wish I had a family. It must be nice to have a brother like Emil.'

Lukas was about to turn around and argue with Mathias over how complicated a family could be, but his friend kept him placed firmly before he resumed massaging his shoulders. 'Emil is a brat.'

'It is still nice.' Mathias countered.

Lukas didn't have anything to counter with so instead he continued on, 'He liked me to read to him every night. Emil didn't like the tavern. I didn't mind serving if people didn't want me to talk. But he is scared when there are too many people in the tavern. Before I came here, I got sick and he had to serve in my place. A man just wanted to tip Emil for the service and had grabbed him by the arm when he walked by. He was so scared he kicked the man and ran up to my room and cried in my arms. Father was not happy. He demanded that we have less to say to each other. I was to go to…' the church. Lukas realized that it would be bad to admit that to Mathias so he changed his tactic and added, 'I was to go away and he wanted a good, strong reliable son. So he packed up Emil's things and put them in a younger girls' room.'

Mathias' hands weren't pushing on his knots anymore and Lukas has having a hard time recalling signs as he noticed Mathias' fingers softly caressing his neck. Swallowing thickly, Lukas ignored the motion secretly liking how soothing they were. Mathias liked to feel things and probably liked the way his skin felt against his fingers Lukas argued with himself. 'That night Emil cried all night and the girls did not like and they threw his things out. Father did not know because he was busy so I took Emil's things back into our room and…' a warm breath was grazing the back of his neck and Lukas' pulse began to race nervously. 'Well Emil he had… had a big grin on his face. He had cried on purpose. Father likes all of his girls even though he has too many. So in the morning when they…hng.' Lukas found his eyes suddenly shut as he felt a pair of lips on his neck trailing up to his hair before he felt Mathias inhale.

Whirling out of his bath, Lukas stood facing Mathias his eyes flashing darkly, 'What are you doing?' His cheeks were flushed and his hands shook.

'You smell nice and it was a nice story. I wanted more nice things.' Mathias signed a little sheepishly but did not break eye contact.

'That isn't something you should do…' Lukas rubbed his face but Mathias looked up at him nervously. Taking a few calming breaths, Lukas realized that Mathias was innocent. He didn't know what he was doing. To him, Mathias was just snuggling. Slowly Lukas began to become aware of his nudity and cupped himself before stepping out and rubbing himself off with clean linen.

Once his clothes were back on his body snuggly, Lukas had managed to calm his heart rate and his cheeks were flushed less. Sitting down on the ground Mathias stoked the coals a little bit back under the tub as Mathias signed, 'Are you mad?'

'I am trying not to be.' Lukas answered not too gently. He could still feel where Mathias had kissed him. 'You will take a bath. You smell and I want to clean your clothes.' It was an order and Mathias looked at him confused but decided it was wiser to listen then to argue.

As he stripped, Lukas looked away shyly, his skin still tingling from the sinful touches. They had been good, but to enjoy another man's touch was a sin. So Lukas swallowed the thoughts and turned his eyes back to Mathias that was now lounging in the bath awkwardly. 'Relax.' Lukas signed to Mathias.

'I don't like being over fire.' Mathias said truthfully. 'You could cook me.'

Lukas laughed at that statement though Mathias looked at him seriously. 'There are hardly any coals. Wash yourself, I am going to try and fix your clothes.' Lukas added. Mathias settled into the tub and Lukas watched him dunk himself and scrub his dirty hair with soap. Keeping his eyes diverted, Lukas picked up Mathias' soiled clothing and groaned at the smell. They slept in the same bed, but Lukas kept his distance from the foul stench. Picking up the clothing to the ditch he scrubbed away revealing the faded and stained color below. Just by touching the fabric Lukas knew that it would be impossible to mend.

He could hear Mathias splashing as he bathed. Lukas struggled to keep his eyes down but would glance towards the tub a few times. It was wrong, he kept reminding himself. But there was still quickness in his heart and a warm feeling in his limbs. Forcing himself to not look, Lukas turned his back fully, scrubbing and measuring the ruined clothing. He would have to give Mathias some of his bigger clothes, Lukas decided.

"AHHH!" Mathias shouted making Lukas jump and twist to face Mathias. His heart was hammering and he thought for a moment that Mathias had burnt himself somehow. Instead he was greeted by a large grin and playful eyes, 'Why are you looking away?'

Lukas saw Mathias leaning over the side with a mischievous look. There wasn't any nudity but it still caused him to be alert and nervous. Trying to keep his mind calm, Lukas focused on the numerous scars on Mathias' back before signing coolly, 'Because it isn't right.'

'You saying you don't like the way I look, Lukas?' Mathias asked his eyes wide yet still beaming with humor. He leaned back revealing his torso, 'You don't like all of this?'

'Of course not, you are a man.' Lukas answered absolute before turning his head hiding his flushed cheeks.

A wave of hot water splashed from the tub as Mathias erupted in loud, flat laughter. Wiping his face, Lukas saw just in time Mathias signing, 'If you don't like then why are your cheeks red?'

'Because I feel hot from the bath.'

'Or you are hot for me.' Mathias chuckled.

'Stop. Mathias.' Lukas stood, looking Mathias straight in the face despite his clear embarrassment. 'There are things you must not do. This is one of them. Finish washing. I am going to make new clothes for you.'

Mathias let out a few confused cries as Lukas left, but when Lukas checked over his shoulder Mathias was still in the tub. It was relieving to not have Mathias on his heels demanding answers for at that moment Lukas felt confused and awkward. Lumbering over to his trunk, Lukas tore it open looking for his bigger clothing. It was stupid allowing Mathias to rub his neck like that, it was stupid he didn't stop Mathias. Pulling out some more clothes angrily, Lukas paused, feeling his heart hammering inside his chest. It wouldn't stop hammering.

"God help me…" Lukas whispered weakly.


	8. The Truth About Mathias

**Okay this is the longest chapter so far. I just want to say thank you for the reviews. This time I don't think I was able to get to all of them because I wasn't sure which ones I had replied to. If I didn't, your review was greatly appreciated. That being said I want to address you all with three things. A few of you have written asking or loving the fact I am basing this on a book by the fics same name. Now it will not be a direct basis of that story as you will start to figure probably with this chapter if you haven't already. Yet my inspiration comes from that book so that is where credit is due. Secondly, a few of you are wondering if Finland will appear in this fic. I have thought on how I can make that be because I have known where I want to go since the beginning and I will admit that I did not plan that with having Finland in mind. I have sat here for a few days trying to figure out how I can plug him into the story but I have no clue. I want you guys to understand why, Sweden is a religious man in an era where being gay is not okay. So I cannot plug Finland in and make a SuFin pairing relevant to the plot. I am sorry. Lastly, I want you all to know that if you want to check and see my progress on this fic I tend to write on my profile when I do major writing or editing. Thank you for your support and enjoy the chapter! **

* * *

Berwald sat at his desk scribbling out his ideas for future sermons when one of the villages knocked at his door. Peering up from his papers, he was surprised to see Tor, one of the better off villagers standing in the doorway. Tor looked grave and his eyes wondered away from Berwald nervously as if he didn't want to be here or had something heavy to say. Whatever the confession was, Berwald sat back and tried to look wise; he was young and not many people took him seriously.

"What is it, Tor?" Berwald asked smoothly and confidently as possible.

The man finally brought his eyes to Berwald before taking a few more steps inside. He swept off his hat, but his fingers remained clenched tightly around the brim. "I…" The villager started as he looked for his words.

"Come sit." Berwald encouraged, offering his spare chair to Tor but the man didn't take it.

"Pastor Berwald, you know me as a man, and I do not like smudging another man's reputation…"

Berwald nodded solemnly. Whatever Tor was about to confess was going to be serious and would lead to serious consequences he sensed. "I know ya as an honest man, Tor. Now tell me, what is it that ya know that has ya upset."

Tor let out a weighty sigh before continuing, "You see Pastor, I was down at the peer last week and I saw the new comer that lives at Sjohus with… Mathias. Now I only tell you this because… well we can't have this sin spreading."

Berwald squirm in his chair slightly not liking where this conversation was going. Mathias' past made him already guess what exactly happened that day. But he remained courteous and hopeful that he was wrong. "Go on."

"I saw Mathias kissin' that man's hands and the way he looked at him was… wrong. Pastor there is something wrong with that man. I won't say he is a demon sent by the devil himself but you know I am correct that he is leading this new man on the wrong path."

A deep sinking hit Berwald and he hid his sadness by rubbing this face before saying, "It's as I feared."

"I'm sorry, I thought I should let you know, before mass." Tor said turning to go.

"I will handle this. Lukas is a good man and he doesn' know. He had a wife ya know." Berwald said simply.

"Did he?" The villager asked a small sign of relief flooding his face. "Well then, it may be all just Mathias' doing."

"Most likely. I will see ya durin' mass, Tor."

Tor turned to leave only to stop once more, "One more thing, Pastor. I seemed to almost forget. Earlier this week another ship came carrying a letter for this man. I didn't read it, but please pass it along." He walked to Berwald's desk leaving a wax sealed letter. "Good day."

"Good day." Berwald replied stiffly.

After Tor finally left Berwald found himself being swamped by a negative thoughts. His visit with Lukas in the past had been alarming and now with Tor's confession Berwald felt troubled. The conversation with Lukas that day had been simple with the new comer explaining what he was saying to Mathias. At first, Berwald had been in awe at Mathias cooperation, but there was a certain rudeness and a disturbing way Mathias did these tasks. And then when Mathias had thrust his hips out into the air. The action made Berwald's temper boil. Whatever experiment Lukas was conducting it wasn't working. Why did Mathias do something so sexual and suddenly? Lukas tried to explain that Mathias was acting like a two year old brat, but to Berwald that was wishful thinking. The wicked couldn't learn and Lukas was endangering his soul for someone that couldn't be saved by a mortal. Only God's grace could help Mathias and it was high tide that Lukas realize this.

Rubbing his face, Berwald tried to work out his frustration. It was time, he knew. Berwald would have to sit down Lukas and confide in him what Mathias had done. The prospect of that conversation made his stomach twist sickly. It was a grim and terrible story, one that Berwald wished he didn't have the burden of knowing. Berwald was still convinced that Lukas taking care of Mathias was a good thing for both the villagers and Mathias himself; he just needed to warn Lukas and let him know what dangers were waiting around the corner.

Berwald let out a groan. What was he thinking? Lukas had been married; surely he wouldn't ever fall into temptation with another man. Lukas liked women. But still… the villagers might not see it as such.

Knowing he was making the right choice, Berwald went back to writing out sermons, not giving the situation another thought.

* * *

Lukas climbed out the tub cautiously. Ever since that day, he found himself shyer towards Mathias. He couldn't explain why, but it was unnerving whenever Mathias did glance at him as he dressed. The horrible issue was, Lukas enjoyed it just a tad. Lukas was proud of the way he looked, or at least he hoped that was it. Being proud was a minor sin in his book so liking that Mathias enjoyed his allure had to be minor as well. It was a good thing that it was Sunday. A good sermon would knock these thoughts out his head.

With his finer clothing on, Lukas sat down for the small meal that Mathias was preparing. It was bland just like everything else they ate as of late. Each morning Lukas woke he wished he had spent some time with his sisters and mother in the kitchen. Even though men never cooked when it was possible, Lukas' taste buds were sorely missing their meals. If only he had had the insight to learn cooking skills. But, until his late wife had suddenly scooped him up for marriage, Lukas honestly believed he would be a cleric by now and he would have been subsisting off of bland food.

Life had certainly changed, but not the fate of his meals.

'It's done.' Mathias signed before placing the wooden plate in front of Lukas giving him a crooked smile. 'I added some onion to the fish. I know want more taste to the food.'

'Thank you.' Lukas answered giving his friend a small smile which in turn caused Mathias to ruffle his hair.

'No problem. Maybe I should find more things to make the food taste better?' He suggested before making up his own plate.

Lukas paused and looked at Mathias quizzically before asking, 'You can find this?' Lukas didn't know how to say seasoning but the way Mathias looked at him knowingly and nodded showed he understood Lukas perfectly.

'Yes, just outside the village is a place where I can take some. I will follow you to the village and go there.' Mathias suggested with a bright smile that reached his eyes.

Lukas looked at him dumbly, admiring the way Mathias' eyes sparkled. Now that he was bathed and clothed in Lukas' spare clothing, Mathias looked like the everyday man; or at least the everyday man that every young woman fantasized about at night. A hot feeling constricted in his chest and Lukas looked away feeling stupid for staring and adding with vague hand motions, 'That is fine.'

Mathias let out a huff and chuckle before slapping Lukas gently on the shoulder getting him to look up at the deaf man. 'Don't be so shy.'

Feeling his ears turn a deep shade of red Lukas struggled to look at Mathias confidently, 'I am not being shy. Finish your meal.' This just prompted Mathias to chuckle and scruff up Lukas' hair more. 'Stop that, I need to look nice for church.'

'You look nice-' Mathias had started to sign but seeing those signs made Lukas even more uncomfortably hot and he looked down at his feet. He didn't need to see any more of those types of signs. Luckily for Lukas, Mathias didn't attempt anymore obscene words and remained silent for the rest of the meal. But Lukas could feel Mathias' smile and his eyes upon him. It made him uneasy and didn't know exactly how to take it. It was strange but not as strange as Lukas taking a small liking to those looks. Or maybe it was all in his head, Lukas somewhat thought.

Shaking the thoughts away he finished his meal before straightening his clothing and waiting for Mathias to finish. The deaf man licked his plate clean before placing it down and gave Lukas a giant grin before signing, 'I'm ready.'

Nodding, Lukas opened the door and Mathias followed them out. Lukas saddle the horse but Mathias refused to ride the old mare and instead jogged alongside them, his breaths barely labored as he kept up. Neither talked which wasn't surprising. Their hands were busy so there was no way of communication. Just as the village appeared though, Mathias whooped at Lukas to get his attention.

'After you are done, we should go for a swim. It is a nice day.' Mathias suggested.

Lukas looked down at his nice clothing and frowned. He would have to go naked for he didn't want to risk ruining his clothing with salt water. Mathias must have sensed the no coming for he signed quickly, 'I won't take a no for an answer. Please. We work all day. One day off. Come swimming with me, Lukas.'

Sighing, Lukas wasn't particularly in the mood to argue and decided to agree despite his better judgment. 'Okay. We will then.'

Mathias gave another loud whoop but this one full of joy. The mare chided away from Mathias slightly, not liking all the loud noises which Mathias noticed and gently came over to calm the old beast with his hands.

Mathias stared up at Lukas warmly before signing, 'I will see you soon.' It left Lukas staring once more and all he could do was to urge the old mare towards the village, leaving Mathias to collect herbs.

The villagers were already flocking around the church as they entered. Berwald stood outside as usual shaking hands and conversing in small conversations as people took their spot at the pew. Before Lukas tied up his horse, Berwald's eyes were upon him. There was a strain and stern look about his gaze and it made Lukas fidget. Had he done something wrong? He knew after Berwald's visit and little encounter with Mathias things had been strained some. No, not strained. Lukas felt embarrassed by Mathias' actions. Usually Mathias would do as Lukas said and at that moment he had lost control on Mathias. And Berwald didn't seem to incline to believe that Mathias understood hand signs which left the two awkward when in each other's presence.

If Berwald wasn't the pastor of the village, Lukas would have done what he always did when he felt awkward around somebody: avoid them.

Running his fingers through his hair, Lukas tried to collect his thoughts before joining the other villagers. He needed to forget about their last visit and act normal. But it didn't help when Berwald held out his arm to halt Lukas in his tracks.

Lukas had been gazing ahead of him to avoid Berwald's gaze but found himself being forced to look closely at Berwald's intense eyes.

"Pastor?" Lukas inquired uncomfortably.

"I need ya ta stay after mass, if ya will." Berwald said in a friendly tone for him, though to Lukas it still came off as stern order.

"Alright." Lukas conceded, wanting to take his spot in the back before it was taking up by another.

Sitting there during mass Lukas couldn't help but wonder why Berwald wanted to speak to him. Were they going to talk about Mathias' miss behavior all those weeks ago? Or had Mathias gone and done something when Lukas wasn't looking that had the whole village angered. Somehow, Lukas knew that Berwald wanted to speak about Mathias in some form or shape and the way he looked at him grimly made Lukas know that it was serious. For a fleeting moment Lukas felt his heart sink into his chest. Maybe he knew about his thoughts. His heart hammered for a moment before he realized that was ridiculous. So for the rest of mass, Lukas sat there trying to not sweat nervously.

When everyone said their final prayers and began to file out the door, Lukas hung behind by remaining sitting in his pew. Berwald came over with his face still drawn tightly and sat down next to Lukas without really looking at him. For several moments they remained sitting and staring off into the distance in silence.

Berwald let out a gruff sigh before speaking lowly yet purposely, "I've heard rumors, Lukas."

A cold sensation ghosted over Lukas' skin at Berwald words. He swallowed thickly, trying to keep his calm, "What type of rumors?"

"Ones that don't go well on one's reputation." Berwald answered without being specific. That was weird to Lukas, surely a priest would be straight forward. "Ya asked me months ago what had Mathias done and I can't go along not lettin' ya know. Not after what I've heard."

Scrunching up his face and slightly confused Lukas inquired stiffly, "I don't follow you, Pastor. Perhaps you should just come out with it."

Berwald let out another heavy sigh, "No, it's best ya hear what I gotta say before I tell ya what people are startin' ta say."

"Very well." Lukas conceded knowing he didn't have much of a choice.

"Ya see… before I came here there was another pastor. But ya know that already." Lukas nodded tautly. "Well he was more strict but he originally took Mathias in, ya know. His parents abandoned Mathias as they headed north. So it was the grace of God that the old pastor found 'em before he died. He was not very old."

"I suppose they abandoned Mathias because they noticed something was wrong with him, am I right?" Lukas added his two cents.

"Most likely correct, though I do not like to judge others. He's a special case, and most are probably scared into makin' hard decisions like this. But the church took 'em in and tried ta teach 'em right from wrong. But it didn' work. He was a savage and no one could control 'em until a village boy befriended 'em. They were about the same age and the boy had jist inherited his father's farm. There was no one else. I suppose maybe he was lookin' for easy help, but I never knew 'em." Berwald paused, catching himself from rambling.

For a moment things went silent and Berwald rubbed his face roughly before continuing, "Ya see, he wasn' a boy. He was grown it jist, he was young. But they were close an' at first the village was jist happy ta not have the raving boy around. Mathias was caught doin' a lot of bad things while under the church's care. Masturbation in public, painting over the image of Christ and no one understood why he did it, Lukas. So with him bein' close with that boy and away from everybody it was seen as a blessin'."

Lukas let out a soft ironic chuckle, "Much like now?"

"Yes. But Lukas, ya gotta understand. Their friendship was more. They caught 'em holdin' hands, huggin', and one day they found 'em couplin'." Berwald almost spat out the words and for the first time he made eye contact with Lukas.

Trying his hardest to not to bolt from his spot, Lukas struggled to keep a calm mind. Softly, yet he knew the outcome Lukas just had to ask, "What happened."

"They burnt the boys house down and took 'em to the square and burnt him at the stake. The Pastor decided to keep Mathias alive for despite his harshness towards the boy, he still loved 'em in a way an' was convinced that he was too stupid to love. So it had to be the boys fault. But that didn' stop the villagers from punishing Mathias in one way or another. The old pastor even took place in it. I'm sure you've seen much of that damage on Mathias."

Lukas felt his body shake with the urge to flee, but he couldn't stand it and he needed to know what rumors were going around about him. Just the very thought made Lukas' neck hair stand straight up. "Tell me, what they are saying about me, Pastor." His voice cracked suddenly revealing the fear he held.

"They said they saw him kissin' yer hands, Lukas. They're sayin' that Mathias is corruptin' ya."

"Absolutely not." Lukas lied knowing full well what Berwald was talking about. "They must have been seeing things. But…" Lukas ran his fingers through his hair. His heart felt so heavy from the tale. He hadn't even been the first person Mathias had lived with. For some odd reason he had that view in his mind as if he was the first person to take pity and reach out to Mathias. But to know that someone had and he had been put to death made Lukas feel ill.

"It is a lot to swallow, I know. I jist ask ya to be cautious, Lukas. Maybe that boy corrupted Mathias, but maybe the devil had ahold of 'em still."

Lukas nodded. It was too true. Those looks, those inappropriate touches, those kisses. Each and every action proved Berwald correct. "I will. But Mathias hasn't done anything." Lukas lied once more.

"I trust ya, Lukas. I jist thought ya needed ta know." Berwald stood and said sternly, "Jist be careful either case. I will see ya on Monday." With that he reached into his clothes and withdrew a letter.

"What's this?" Lukas asked as he took the letter.

"A letter that passed into my hands." Berwald clarified.

"Thank you." Lukas said numbly as he tucked it into his pocket. He felt drained and wasn't ready to deal with the good or bad news inside. "I will see you later, Pastor." Lukas flatly spoke before leaving the church.

* * *

Mathias walked briskly from a farm house on the far side of the village with his shirt wrapped up and carrying different herbs. Before he fled he had spotted hounds snarling angrily at his presence. Mathias had been careful to not be spotted but these hounds and keener senses than Mathias. So he was quick, plucking haphazardly before hastening away. Everyone should have been at the church but the last thing that Mathias needed was one of those dogs breaking free and running him down. Their bites were dangerous and painful enough for Mathias to feel a flush of fear down his spine when they bared their teeth at him.

He stopped for a moment to take a few breaths and he glanced over the landscape for villagers. Mathias knew mass would be ending soon and he would need to circle around the village closer than he wanted, but so far he saw not a soul. From his vantage point the village looked like a ghost town, but Mathias was no fool and he could smell their fires and food. There would only be one sign for Mathias to know when they would emerge and it was a faint one that he easily missed. The large bell in the tower would ring and if he didn't focus on feeling its vibrations Mathias would never sense it. Closing his eyes, Mathias focused as he took quick breaths. There was the wind and the smell of the sea mingled with the scent of the town.

If he wanted to meet Lukas on the road for a swim he needed to be quick. Turning towards the peer, Mathias eyed it suspiciously. No one was there as well and it was a quick short cut but with many obstacles. This was to his advantage for he was nimbler than any villager. Having picked his route Mathias jogged down the hill quickly. Adrenaline pumped through his veins and his legs felt lighter and stronger as he approached the town. Quick like a deer, Mathias leapt over empty crates and rope before landing on the maze of decks. Ducking, Mathias went under hanging nets and up and over small vessels.

Just keep going, Mathias thought to himself as he kept his eyes ahead of him. The wind was beginning to vibrate and he knew church was let out. Like a frightened animal he tore through the peer, not daring to look back. He stopped when he reached the beach and out of view of the peer. There he collapsed and collected his breath. Uncovering the herbs he saw that he had crushed many of them but would be fine for drying and cooking. He smelt like them and it made Mathias smile warmly. Lukas would surely like the smell; Mathias knew all the rich people wore spices. Maybe it would help Lukas take interest in him.

Laying there in the hot sun Mathias wondered why Lukas was being so hesitant. It was clear he had liked what Mathias had done. The way he had moved under his hands, the way his breath had hitched Mathias was no fool. But he sort of liked how Lukas was playing hard to get. If he had to work a little harder then Mathias was fine with that. It just made him warm to think that someone he could communicate with might let him hold him and kiss him.

In truth that's why he wanted Lukas to swim with him. Mathias knew that Lukas wouldn't dare get his fine clothes ruined and would have to strip down which to Mathias was another perfect moment to flirt with Lukas. Maybe even touch his soft, white skin some more.

Leaping to his feet, Mathias tried to shake away his thoughts. He didn't need to be thinking such things just before swimming and risk scaring Lukas off. Mathias needed to be calm and so did his body. Looking down Mathias laughed through his nose before adjusting his pants and starting up the cliffs. Lukas would be up there soon and if he didn't get up their quick enough then he could miss Lukas entirely.

Climbing the cliffs he saw people moving into their fields so he stayed hunkered as he waited to spot Lukas' horse. The grass was high and he knew no one would spot him unless they looked at him directly. Luckily with the bath plus the new clothes, he appeared like a new person. Or at least from what Mathias saw from his reflection he looked like a new man. Maybe the villagers wouldn't know him. He doubted it. Their hatred was too deep for him. Even if he became old and disfigured, they would sense that it was him, Mathias knew.

For minutes Mathias stayed on his haunches even when they began to ache, yet still no Lukas. The villagers were all back to their normal routines now and he began to panic slightly. What if the man in the robes forced Lukas to never come back? Worse what if he was hurt? Mathias could feel his throat constrict as he let his worry out through small noises. He needed to remain calm and trust Lukas. But as the minutes ticked by Mathias became restless and he even had to get off his heels and stand.

Luckily he saw Lukas leading the mare out of town seconds later.

Letting out a loud whoop to get Lukas' attention the man merely looked up at Mathias and didn't wave or anything. His shoulders were sagging and Lukas seemed sad and worried. Frowning, Mathias sensed something happened and walked out of the grass to meet Lukas. A nice swim at the beach would fix Lukas' melancholy, Mathias was sure.

'Why are you so late?' he questioned with a big grin and padded Lukas' shoulder. Coldly, Lukas shrugged his hand off and frowned disapprovingly at Mathias. This caused Mathias to stiffen uneasily and he asked, 'Did I do something wrong?'

'No. Let's go home, Mathias.' Lukas answered with his lips still pinched unpleasantly.

'You said you would swim with me.' Mathias pointed out with a huff.

'Not today.'

'Yes today. Something is wrong and swimming will help you feel better. Come.' Mathias said briskly as he grabbed the mare by the reigns and led her away from Lukas. This day, Mathias was simply not going to take no for an answer. Not with him smelling so nice from the herbs.

He could feel Lukas' steps behind him, following. Even though Lukas was in a sour mood, Mathias was grinning widely. Sure they had taken dips in the sea many times together, but this would be different. Mathias would make it different and he knew the perfect spot to take a dip. He guided the horse from the main road about half way from their home and they descended a grassy knoll down to a wide sandy beach. The sea was a deep blue and the waves were crashing further out from the tide. With the hot sun beating down on them, the waves looked invitingly.

'See, Lukas? Everything looks nice, right? This is the best beach I know of.' Mathias proclaimed as he looked around for a spot to tie the horse up. He picked a piece of drift wood and came running back to Lukas who sullenly hadn't signed a single thought. Gripping the other man's hand he tugged Lukas away from the opening to the beach and down to the warm sands.

Lukas at first resisted but Mathias kept a firm hand and eventually Lukas allowed him to pull him towards the waves. They stopped a few yards away from the shore line and Mathias quick to drop his shirt full of herbs and kick off his boots Lukas had freshly bought for him. Lukas on the other hand, he just fingered his top button, his flushed face turned away. Swallowing thickly, Mathias sat there and looked at him for several moments. It was when Lukas looked so shyly that Mathias couldn't help but peer at his friends' face. It was cute; masculine still but oh so very cute.

But after several seconds of not unbuttoning the stop button, Mathias had to chuckle at Lukas' shyness. Stepping closer, Mathias reached out and slid the button through its hole. Lukas whipped his head towards Mathias and looked up at him with wide eyes. They looked nervous more than scared and Mathias just gave his friend a reassuring smile before reaching for the next button. Before he could undo it, Lukas swiped his hand away making Mathias recoil with a stinging sensation in his chest.

'I can undress myself, Mathias.' Lukas said sharply. Almost as if he were out of a trance, Lukas unfastened the remaining buttons quickly and shrugged off his main jacket before starting on the doublet below. Somehow, Lukas still felt distant as if he wasn't really there. Something was clearly on his mind, but Mathias didn't heed it any mind and started on his pants.

Mathias simply loosened the strings knowing if he stood beside his friend totally nude it would make him feel uncomfortable. So he waited patiently for Lukas to strip down to his underclothing. Eying him once more he waited for Lukas to shed those too, but instead his friend began to walk towards the surf. The cotton was soft unlike Mathias' shirt and he knew Lukas only wore it with his fine clothing. So why would he risk ruining it? Frowning deeply, Mathias decided this was stupid and quickly covered the distance between them and grabbed Lukas' elbow.

Mathias struggled to keep his displeased face in check and he asked fiercely, 'Why do you keep these on? You will ruin them.'

'I don't want to go nude.' Lukas answered, his hands shaking slightly.

Was he shy?

'I am going naked.' Mathias insisted as he dropped his pants and stepped out of them. 'See. Now stop worrying.'

Lukas' eyes flickered down and his mouth seemed agape. Mathias shifted from foot to foot thinking that Lukas was horrified at his actions but quickly a hot blush covered Lukas' face. That caused a warm feeling to pool in Mathias' stomach but he bit the inside of his cheek to stop anything from happening down there.

Lukas' glance only lasted for a few seconds for his hot and fiery eyes were on him moments later, 'You shouldn't do that.'

'I shouldn't do a lot of things, according to you.' Mathias answered dryly.

'Just get in the sea.' Lukas' hands snapped.

Mathias rolled his eyes as Lukas started again but he gripped both of Lukas arms back quickly and held him against him. Struggling against Lukas, Mathias fought to pull Lukas' pants off. He wouldn't have his friend ruining them over shyness. And feeling Lukas' skin up against his like this was nice, causing Mathias let out laughter. Oh how he twisted against him and vibrated against Mathias as he spoke words he couldn't hear. This time he couldn't stop his body from reacting slightly but before he had too big of a problem, Mathias finally managed to pull Lukas' underwear down.

Lukas twisted angrily and Mathias let him go only to watch his friend trip and land on this butt facing Mathias. More hearty laughter came from Mathias as he looked down at his grumpy friend.

'Don't be mad, Lukas.' Mathias pleaded sarcastically.

'We shouldn't be doing this.' Lukas signed hotly.

Mathias froze realizing that Lukas' anger was actually real. Had he gone too far again? 'Lukas I am sorry. I just don't want you to ruin your clothing.'

This seemed to put out the fire in Lukas for a moment and Mathias helped him to his feet, but he couldn't resist letting his hand graze Lukas' hip and side. Like an angry horse, Lukas kicked Mathias in the shin making him stumble back.

'Knock it off.' Lukas stated again.

'Knock what off?' Mathias asked his own anger started to boil to the surface.

'This. You touching me.' Lukas said his eyes looking at him with rage. But Mathias was too keen to notice the way he shook and the way his body was flushed. Lukas had liked their little tussle and he knew that he liked his touches. So why was he saying this now?

'Why? You like them, why should I?' Mathias challenged. 'Don't try and tell me you don't. I can see it in your eyes and your face.'

'Because the man in the sky doesn't like it. Don't you understand? This is bad.' Lukas retaliated.

'Him again?!' Mathias through his hands up and Lukas started to sign something. This caused Mathias to let out a fierce growl and Mathias gripped Lukas' arms, silencing him for a moment. His chest felt like a boulder was crushing it. And for a moment he wished he could speak so he didn't have to sit there and try to convey his hurt feelings through looks. People like Lukas never understood emotions through eyes and he knew he hadn't gotten through to his friend as Lukas glared back and fought to be free.

Flinging Lukas out of his grip Mathias paced a few steps back, 'People of the church know nothing. You know nothing. I am not a kid and you cannot tell me what I can and cannot do.'

'You might as well be a kid, you do not know right from wrong.' Lukas argued his eyes looking at him sadly.

But the damage had been done and that hurt Mathias. He sat their dumbstruck that his friend would actually say such a thing to him. Quickly his hurt was replaced with hot anger. 'I am not a kid. You think you know all that is right. But you do not, Lukas. You follow a man in the robes without thinking. I know what feels right, I know what is good for me. I will not be bossed around by you.'

'You don't know what you feel.' Lukas said coldly.

His friends' signs brought tears to Mathias' eyes, but he stubbornly held them back. 'No, Lukas that is you.'

Mathias turned away and grabbed his pants and pulled them back on and shook out his shirt, freeing it off the herbs. He didn't want to be around Lukas and he felt like fleeing from this disaster. Lukas had stepped closer to him but Mathias kept his eyes down even though Lukas' shadow showed he was signing to him. He didn't want to cry, he didn't want to accept the pain that was slowly suffocating him. Full of hurt, Mathias pushed Lukas away and watched him tumble back to the ground hard. For a moment Mathias looked down Lukas defiantly.

'You will not control me.' Was all Mathias said before turning and leaving.


	9. Tricky Forgiveness

**I had issues writing this but today I finally sat down and got this chapter to where I wanted it to be. Sorry if it is shorter than my last three chapters but I am sure you will like it's contents ;) That being said this will be the last chapter where The Raging Quiet will be rated T. Next chapter won't have smut, but it will have content where I will have to push it up to M. At this time I am planning to post a more explicit version of certain chapters on my tumblr. Also I did a side subject that you guys may like. I did a short DenNor comic (I'm not the greatest) so if you are interested go check it out here: (remove the spaces)**

** helenae . tumblr post / 56922689751 / just-a-dennor-idea-i-had-floating-in-my-head-last**

**Also thank you for your reviews as always!**

* * *

He had been stupid at the beach. Berwald's story had frightened Lukas into taking a cold stance against Mathias' strong advances. Now Mathias was laying on their bed with his back to Lukas. There wasn't any better way to put a muzzle on Lukas' mouth. Even if he wanted to apologize, he couldn't. Mathias didn't understand the consequences of homosexual relations. If he did then they wouldn't be in this awkward and silent position.

Knowing there wasn't anything to be said, Lukas sat at their makeshift table and pulled out his letter. From the thin, strict cursive, Lukas knew it was his father's handwriting. He felt his body stiffen from just reading the addressee. There was no warmth in his father, there never was. That was reserved for the older brother and knowing that made Lukas braced himself for an unfavorable answer. He imagined he would be called an impetuous fool for asking for any amount of money, or a lout that couldn't handle honest work. Lukas had to admit the latter was true, without Mathias he wouldn't be anywhere near as comfortable as he was now.

Sliding his finger over the seal, Lukas opened the letter and scrunched up his face.

"Your letter hasn't given me the least of shocks and I have spoken with your brother. It seems he is in favor of giving you assistance if you give back double that we loan you in the following spring. If you do not pay us, we shall cease half of your assets as payment. There will be a contract for you to sign once you arrive in Oslo.

Best of Wishes,

Your Father."

He would cease half of his lands if he failed?

It stung. Those words might have been needles directed at Lukas' heart. Between his screw up with Mathias and his father's uncaring words, Lukas felt like he hit rock bottom. This whole debacle with Mathias started to hit Lukas heavily. He shouldn't have said what he had to Mathias. All Mathias had been trying to do was show affection. And Lukas knew if Berwald hadn't said anything he would have welcomed them. He might have been shy, but he remembered how he felt at the beach. The thrill of Mathias starting to unbutton his clothing, the way his eyes wandered to Mathias' naked body despite himself, the sensation of Mathias warm skin against his own, it was all fresh in his mind. Running his fingers through his hair, Lukas let out a frustrated cry that only he could hear despite Mathias' presence just a few feet away.

He was looking for affection from an unaffectionate father meanwhile pushing away real affection from Mathias by declaring things such as Mathias couldn't love. He was messed up and sitting there Lukas realized he wasn't sure why he said it. Maybe it was his own arrogance that made him believe that Mathias couldn't feel. Or maybe and probably the truth, Lukas was scared that Mathias could love.

Now from his uncaring father's letter, all he wanted was to feel Mathias company at his side. It was lonely sitting there receiving good yet unfavorable news and not able to talk about it. And it was worse to be in a room with someone who he knew cared for him but was angry with him. Lukas hated the needy feeling that was boiling his insides. Of course he would want Mathias now on his own terms. That was how things worked with Lukas. Berwald's story be damned.

Peering at Mathias he noted that he was still facing away from him and hadn't moved an inch. Clenching his fists, Lukas approached Mathias knowing he needed to apologize if he wanted any comfort he craved at that moment. Sitting on the edge of the bed Lukas placed a hand on Mathias' shoulder only to have it knocked away quickly and roughly. Mathias kept his head away from him and Lukas tried once more to turn Mathias over so he could see Lukas' hands, only for Mathias to slap his hand off his shoulder.

Not sure what to do, Lukas just sat there for probably a half an hour, hoping that Mathias would eventually cave in by his presence and face him. But Mathias had years of not being able to communicate making him efficient in ignoring. At a lost on what to do, Lukas decided to do something desperate. Sliding down in bed he laid next to Mathias before wrapping his arms around his friend, pulling Mathias body flushed up against him and even sunk his face into the base of Mathias neck. He could feel Mathias stiffen from shock before relaxing. It was a silent apology and after a minute or two waiting for Mathias to respond in some way, he felt Mathias' hand cover one of his and entwine their fingers. Lukas found himself gripping Mathias' hand before sighing a relief and worming himself closer.

When Mathias finally turned over to face him, Lukas forced a smile as Mathias gave him a hurtful look. 'I am sorry.' Lukas signed between the little space between them.

He had been expecting Mathias to say he forgave him, but instead Mathias said, 'Why did you say it?'

'Because I was scared.' Lukas signed quickly. 'It doesn't change that it is not right. God wouldn't like it.'

'But it doesn't change the fact how you and I feel.' Mathias argued his face coming into a defensive scowl.

Lukas sighed, not wanting this conversation to go further. He was a coward when it came to emotions. Things were easier when you married because someone told you to. 'Doesn't change that it is wrong, Mathias.'

'What is right and what is wrong. No one can say.' Mathias added.

'But there is a book that tells us what is and isn't.' Lukas deflected which caused Mathias to narrow his eyes more.

'What is in a book is for some people, but not for us.' Lukas averted his eyes and he wanting to turn away, but he found that his legs were tangled in Mathias'. Leaving would only hurt Mathias more, so he remained and rewrapped his arms around Mathias, burrowing his head into his chest. This must have made Mathias content in some way for he wrapped his arms back around Lukas tightly. It felt nice and Lukas felt relaxed in Mathias' grip.

The argument stalled for a few more minutes before Lukas removed himself from Mathias. He felt better but Mathias still had this drained, hurt look on his features. Changing the subject, Lukas signed, 'I have a letter from my father. He will give me the money.'

'I see. When will you be back?' Mathias signed.

Lukas felt his heart fall into his stomach and he could feel his reaction on his face, 'I thought you said you would come.'

'I did, but that was before today.' Mathias stated.

"Mathias." Lukas found himself saying rather than signing. He could hear the desperate tone in his voice and he felt his heart beating hard in chest.

'I am sorry.' Lukas then signed once more.

'I know but I don't feel you are.' Mathias said sitting up their limbs untangling. Mathias crossed his arms and brought his feet up as he hid his face for a moment. He was hurt and struggling to keep his tears at bay, Lukas realized. Even his own throat was constricting as the weight of his words began to come to fruition.

When Mathias finally looked up again his eyes were wet yet no tears had escaped, 'I know you care for me Lukas. I can feel it, I can tell, and I am not stupid. I know what this feeling is.'

'It doesn't matter if I do, Mathias.'

'I think it does. You say you are sorry yet you are only sorry for yourself. You don't do anything but hurt me more with your… with these not understandable ideas of yours." Mathias said as he slipped to the edge of the bed beside Lukas.

Pursing his lips together, Lukas signed, 'I just want you to come south with me. What can I do to get you to forgive me so you come with me?'

'I want a kiss.' Mathias said bluntly, though his shoulders were drooped in an almost defeated way.

'Mathias… I can't kiss you.' Lukas argued as he felt his cheeks flush hotly and his heart begin to beat quickly. Suddenly those kissing he had received on his neck were flashing in his mind.

'Yes you can. You just bring you lips to mine and we kiss.' Mathias mocked weakly, his eyes glancing away and his face frowning darkly. Even though it was a joke, Mathias was clearly disappointed in Lukas' answer.

Technically Mathias was right. It was that simple. And if it meant forgiveness for his stupid words and would mean Mathias would come south, then what harm was a small kiss?

'You promise you will come south if I do this?' Lukas signed before Mathias' eyes. His friend sat up straight in awe before simply nodding. Taking a steadying breath, Lukas leaned closer bringing his hand to Mathias' hair before pressing his lips stiffly against Mathias' cheek.

When he pulled back Mathias was looking at him slight frown. 'That isn't a kiss.'

'It's best I can do.' Lukas said weakly.

Mathias let out a loud laugh before turning towards Lukas so their knees bumped. 'Then I will show you.'

Lukas didn't quite register Mathias' signs before he felt Mathias' hand tilt his chin up and felt warm lips on his. Every limb in his body felt sluggish and warm and Lukas couldn't help but lean into the kiss, closing his eyes as he took in the sensation. What was supposed to be one kiss turned into two then three and before Lukas knew it he found his hand in Mathias' messy hair kissing Mathias in earnest as he became addicted. When his lips melded to other man's Lukas felt the most fiery pleasure burst down his neck and spine, stealing this breath. He could feel Mathias letting out one of his dull sounds as he pushed Lukas onto the bed swiping Lukas' lips with the tip of his tongue. Unsure on what Mathias was doing, Lukas instinctively poked his tongue out to prod it against Mathias'. Moments later Lukas began to toy with Mathias tongue as they deepened the kiss and he gave him more access.

But all too soon Mathias pulled away to kiss along Lukas' jaw and Lukas began to gather his wits again and pushed Mathias away to stop. Mathias sat there hovering above him with a hungry look and Lukas could only pant as he lay there, flushed. 'You said one kiss.'

Mathias chuckled and leant down quickly to capture his one kiss. Lukas felt his eyes slide shut from the quick peck before leaning up. 'I need to go prepare dinner.'

'Okay.' Mathias answered with a big grin on his face.

* * *

They worked together side by side after that day. Mathias was careful when he touched Lukas inappropriate. It was never too bold, but always enough to make Lukas blush and sign something indignant. That moment when they kissed seemed to be the only thing that Mathias had needed. Lukas wondered if it was some type of confirmation Mathias had needed and now had received. He wasn't sure, but Lukas was having a harder time.

The two of them shared a bed, and often times Lukas would wake up hot and aching with arousal. Each time he would find himself wrapped up in Mathias' arms. Or worse, he would wake up to his pants being soiled from a wet dream only to feel his backside grinding against Mathias as he came down from his euphoria. It was frustrating and something he expected of Mathias and not himself. Berwald's words seemed to have no meaning, yet they had a lot. For every time he had to sneak out to take care of himself and clean up, he remembered the village boy who had been burnt.

Mathias of course woke up with the same issues as Lukas. His pants tenting as he walked out knowing not to do his business in the house. But Mathias found it natural while Lukas wanted to die of embarrassment.

Things didn't seem to cool down as the crops were brought in for the fall. There wouldn't enough money from the crops like Lukas had expected. But it would help contribute to paying his father back the following spring. Lukas had planned to use Mathias to hunt and gather furs that winter. With their combined income things would be more than okay. But first he needed that money to buy sheep and pigs and fodder to feed those animals. But first thing was first, Lukas had to fix his wagon and hire a mountain boy to take care of their farm.

'So explain why we can trust someone from the mountains to watch our place?' Mathias asked as their day to leave arrived.

'Because they are poor and need food. We pay them with crops and food for keeping the place. They cannot take the land. They would be killed if they tried. I have it in writing it is mine.' Lukas explained loosely.

'Are you sure? They could make it their land.' Mathias argued.

'They cannot and if they did we will make it ours again.' Lukas assured, knowing Mathias didn't understand how writing could bind land to a man. But he took Lukas' word and merely, slapped the man's ass before laughing playfully. Lukas looked at him hotly, his cheeks flushed.

'Don't do that or I will leave you here.'

'But Lukas, you showed me just how much you wanted me to come with you!' Mathias joked making Lukas' face turn an even deeper color of red. Mathias couldn't resist bending down and giving Lukas a quick peck on the lips. Lukas didn't pull away. Mathias never kissed Lukas longer than necessary. But when he did kiss Lukas, it left his friend slack jaw and in awe of Mathias' action. But only for a mere seconds. Lukas would always retaliate and he did by hitting Mathias somewhat hard with his hoe.

Lukas then signed, 'Get back to work.' There was a strong frustration growing in Lukas and Mathias was abusing it to his advantage.

When the time came to travel south, Mathias sat on the bench next to Lukas with the somber boy they hired waving good bye. Together they rolled into town where people looked at Mathias with nasty scowls. But no one approached the wagon or tried to stop them. There silent cold looks, didn't stop Mathias from feeling so nervous he had to hold onto Lukas' arm tightly. When the village left his sight he let out a sigh of relief.

For several days they headed south towards Oslo. Lukas knew it would take weeks to reach his father's tavern, so they had a lot of time on their hands. Mathias just seemed mystified as he looked at completely new surroundings.

'Are you sure people in other places will not hurt me?' Mathias asked one afternoon as they approached Trondheim.

'You look normal wearing my clothes. Just remember to not make sounds with your throat.' Lukas reminded him.

They went silent again for a moment and Lukas struggled to start up yet another conversation. 'You know, I wanted to go to a land south of this land to continue my schooling once.'

Mathias turned his eyes on Lukas with his full attention, 'How come? You know a lot now already.'

'There are a lot of people that know more than me. And there are people out there finding out about things that we once didn't understand. I read a book when I was young about different poisons in our bodies and how you can get rid of them. After that, I wanted to become like these men.' Lukas remembered.

'Why didn't you? If you needed to go south why make it so you came north instead?' Mathias asked as he struggled to understand Lukas' words.

Lukas shrugged, feeling a pang in his neck he rubbed the spot roughly. Riding in the wagon on rutted roads made his whole neck feel as if it were made of molted, white hot metal. 'I couldn't. People must have money. My family did not. I could continue my schooling with the church but they don't like these new ideas.'

Mathias huffed, 'Of course. When does the church like anything?'

Lukas let out a small chuckle, 'Well it is much better I came north I think.' before he jabbed Mathias playfully in the ribs. Mathias gave his friend a cheeky smile getting his hidden meaning. They weren't anything more than friends, but if Lukas had a best friend, he admitted it would be Mathias.

He let out a long moan when he felt Mathias two strong hands began to massage his aching neck. Struggling to sign through the relieving pleasure, Lukas continued, 'My brother also wants to go to school. But he won't. Life isn't good to the poor.'

Mathias stopped and signed, 'Are we poor?'

'Oh yes. Very. We are asking money from my father remember?' Lukas sighed as he felt Mathias' hands resume for a moment on his neck.

He stopped again to sign, 'But I don't feel like I have nothing.'

'You have things but you don't have everything.' Lukas pointed out and Mathias looked at him solemnly for a moment and nodded in agreement.

Feeling that his neck was much better Lukas inquired, 'What about you? Do you have dreams?'

'I dream every night.' Mathias said confused. 'I dream of you. I dream of hunting. I dream of terrible things.'

'No, no.' Lukas said cutting Mathias off. 'Do you think of things you want and don't have?' For a moment he could tell that Mathias was about to say 'you' but refrained from it.

Instead, Mathias sat there and thought. 'I guess… I want a family. I want kids that are mine. I want a home where I am safe.'

Lukas sat there shocked. After almost five months of living together Mathias still had the ability to shock Lukas. How he could understand the concept of family and want it caught him off guard but at the same time it saddened Lukas. Mathias would have a hard time achieving this wish.

'I know… people won't want me, Lukas.' Mathias said sadly. 'I don't make words with my mouth, but my hands. Only you wanted me but even… Let's change what we are talking about.'

'No wait, that isn't true. There are women out there that would want you.' Mathias crooked an eyebrow. Lukas was right on this. Many women were thrown out into the streets for scandalous reasons. Ones that were near death and starving would gladly accept Mathias if it meant food and staying alive. But Lukas didn't want the lowest of the low for Mathias. 'I will teach you to speak somehow.'

'I can't hear, how will I make sounds correctly?' Mathias inquired suspiciously.

'I don't know yet.' Lukas admitted before smiling up at Mathias. 'But I will get you this family.' Mathias just gave Lukas a smile, one full of meaning that Lukas didn't quite understand. As their wagon continued on, it didn't occur to Lukas that maybe, he was the one that Mathias had wanted.


	10. Touch

**Okay I am sorry for this really late update. I am working a lot of hours nowadays so I can go to Scandinavia next summer. But I will try and update at least once a month if not once every three weeks. This chapter also has an uncensored version on my tumblr which you can find** **here Helenae dot tumblr dot com. If you have problems finding it, the link will be on my profile. Thank you for all of your reviews and faves last chapter and I hope you guys enjoy this overdo chapter. **

* * *

A cold pinprick landed on Mathias' arm bringing him grimly aware that it was starting to rain. Pulling his cloak closer to his body, he looked on ahead of the dreary and empty road. Lately Mathias felt so drained and he couldn't stop thinking about his argument with Lukas by the sea. Something seemed so strange, so off. For months now Mathias was trying his hardest to win his friends' heart, and for months Lukas resisted. Things were getting better between him and Lukas, but now Mathias couldn't stop thinking of the man he knew before Lukas. His original friend didn't come with difficult concepts. They would simply kiss, make love, and not once was right or wrong brought up. It never could. Mathias couldn't communicate with him; anything that needed to be said was done with a smile, a touch, a glance.

With Lukas, he always came with strange ideas attached. Mathias could now touch him, this was good, but it always came with quip such as, "You are doing wrong, Mathias". And now it made him wonder was he in the wrong? Mathias hoped he wasn't. Everything he did with Lukas felt natural, just like his original friend. There was nothing Lukas could say to change his mind, it had to right. And all of these memories of his past friend and thoughts about his argument with Lukas made Mathias' gut twist sourly. Because Mathias knew something happened that day, something was said.

That morning Lukas had been tired, but willing to enjoy a day at the beach. Why had he returned so shaken and stiff? Mathias didn't have to guess. It was Berwald. He had said something to Lukas to force his friend to resist his touches desperately. But what…

Peering at Lukas, Mathias watched his friend look on ahead dully. Since they woke that morning they hadn't said a word and after several weeks of traveling they had run out of topics. Lukas commented days ago if they had the money they could have sailed to Oslo. Instead they would have a month long travel. It was more quality time to spend with Lukas. But the silence was leading Mathias to dark thoughts.

What had been said that day?

Mathias huffed loudly. The sound caused Lukas to shift his eyes his direction. Mathias gave Lukas a smile. His eyes were still beautiful even when full of boredom. 'Is something wrong?' Lukas asked awkwardly with the reigns in his hands.

'I have been thinking a lot is all.' Mathias confessed, Lukas turned his head fully towards him giving Mathias his full attention. The corners of Mathias' lips turned into an upwards, unsure smile, 'What happened that day we went to the beach?'

Lukas frowned before signing back, 'I am not sure what you are talking about. Other than you and I fought. I thought we were over this.'

'And we are.' Mathias signed hastily giving a bubbly uneasy sound in his throat. 'It's just you went to church and were more stiff. I know you didn't like what I did but to me you were scared Lukas. Before you didn't say no because you were scared, is all.'

Mathias' hands fell silent and he looked at the muddy ruts in the road for a moment. Lukas wasn't moving and he could feel his friend sitting stiffly beside him. Lukas' body was much too rigid. Exhaling, Mathias asked, 'What was said by the man in the cloak. It just does not add up.'

'I simply acted like I should have from the beginning.' Lukas defended.

'Don't give me that.' Mathias hands lashed out quickly. 'If you think it is so bad then why did you suddenly resist harder, Lukas? Before it was just meek words but if I pressed harder…' Mathias fell silent knowing that jabbing Lukas into anger wouldn't get him anywhere. But deep down Mathias honestly believed that Lukas would have submitted to his touches a few times if he was more persistent. 'Yet you resist less now and do not deny it Lukas.' Mathias had said in a rush, his chest hurting as a knot settled in heavily. 'You just… reacted so differently is all. I want to know what that robed man said.'

Lukas' face was flushed with embarrassment at Mathias' words. Quickly he looked away with his lips pursed in deep thought. After months of living with Lukas, Mathias knew how to read when Lukas lied or told the truth. And at that moment his friends' eyes were darkened as he struggled to figure out if he would lie or not. Mathias tried to keep a pleasant smile on his face, but inside he felt his chest tighten even more. He hated when Lukas lied. It wasn't often, but it still made Mathias twist with a sad, sickening, feeling.

'Berwald told me about your friend before me.' Lukas answered truthfully. Mathias' heart stopped cold.

The robed man…Berwald knew about his friend? Mathias could feel his throat vibrate as he let out uneasy breaths. How could Berwald know about his friend? He wasn't in the village back then. 'What did he tell you, Lukas?' Mathias demanded as his hands shook. Sitting there Mathias just wanted to hop off the back of the wagon and return to the village and kill the robed man. Mathias was scared, but he was deeply angry as well.

Once again Lukas faltered, as he considered lying or not. 'Tell me the truth and don't you dare make up a story.' Mathias warned as his teeth gnashed together.

'Berwald merely told me about you two.' Lukas answered, not saying more.

Was he jealous? Mathias wondered. Swallowing thickly, Mathias stated evenly as possible, 'I knew him before I knew you. You aren't mad, are you?'

'No I'm not I just…' Lukas hesitated and his hands froze.

'What?' Mathias pressed urgently. 'What did that man say?!'

Lukas' eyes flickered helplessly and he recoiled at revealing whatever he was hiding. His friend's body language made Mathias edgy. 'The villagers knew about you two.' Lukas started up then paused. Was Lukas expecting him to understand everything that had been said with that one statement?

'And?' Mathias prodded.

'And they burnt your home down.' Lukas added sadly before pulling on the reigns and halting their horse.

Mathias frowned. This wasn't new to him. When he came back home that day to find his home in ashes he knew who burnt it to the ground. Cynically, Mathias answered, 'Of course they did. They don't like me and they probably want to burn our home too.' Mathias did feel slightly better though. If this was all Lukas had been told then he could understand his reluctant behavior. If the villagers didn't like what they saw and were clamoring to burn down their home, then Mathias understood why Lukas had pushed him away that day. Mathias would just have to be careful when he touched Lukas.

But then he felt Lukas' hand reach out and squeezed his hand reassuringly. The way Lukas looked sadly at him made Mathias squirm all over again. His friend wasn't done.

'Remember what I said a long time ago? God doesn't like certain things. And when you touch me he doesn't like it. The villagers follow God. They didn't just burn your house, Mathias.'

'They did something more… something worse.' Mathias said finally catching on sadly.

Lukas nodded slightly before adding, 'They dragged your friend from his house and burnt him to death-'

'That is impossible!' Mathias brandished his hands as he stood up and glared down at Lukas. 'He merely ran away. He had no home and didn't bring me because they burned his home because of me.' Mathias babbled as his knees felt weak and his eyes began to sting. 'This isn't true. Why would people burn a man? It can't be. Berwald just wants to scare you and make you think like the villagers is all! He doesn't like me, you see…' His hands broke off in a shaky mess and Mathias ran his fingers through his hair and took several calming breaths.

'No man is that cruel, Lukas.' Mathias said indefinitely before sitting down once more, his eyes darkly turned towards the road. The rain was starting to come down stronger so he wrapped his arms around his knees and kept himself in a cocoon away from Lukas' words.

His heart was pounding so hard that Mathias could feel his pulse in his ears and his eyes were stinging as he struggled to keep himself from crying. It was too horrible to believe but the more he thought on it, the more true he found to Lukas' story. Mathias remembered that day well. They had found him too at his burnt down home, sifting through the ashes trying to find his friend. The group of angry villagers pushed him down into the ground so hard the hot ash entered his mouth. After a minor struggle they dragged Mathias to the village and placed fiery irons on his skin. It had been painful. Worse than a thousand whips. But to be burnt to death… the pain would be more than thousand times more painful than hot irons. And Mathias remembered choking on the foul stench he had smelt just before they punished him with the hot irons. It had been so disgusting and it mingled with the smell of death and smoke.

The tears began to slide down his cheeks as he couldn't deny Lukas' story. That smell had been the scent of his friends' death. He felt Lukas wrap an arm around him and Mathias gladly turned his head to his chest and howled and cried in grief. Mathias stayed there until Lukas' sweaty and dirty shirt was soaked.

Xxx

The rain started to come down steadily and worsened as the day went on, but Lukas kept their wagon rolling through the muddy roads. He felt terrible for the earlier discussion. Mathias remained silent, his face drawn with grief over his dead friend. Lukas knew the news was terrible for Mathias. But now Mathias probably understood the gravity of his actions. They couldn't just keep touching each other. Things had to go back to being normal between them. Oddly, Lukas felt a strange pang at the thought. His sins were piling up so high that Lukas actually wanted the contact of Mathias' body.

They needed a break from the damn rain. It was making everything drearier. Tapping Mathias on the shoulder, Lukas attempted to try and cheer up his friend, 'You look like Emil when he is upset.' He signed. Mathias just sent him a confused look and Lukas added, 'My brother is the cutest pouter in the world, you see.'

The comment made Mathias face crack into a slight smile. 'Are you calling me cute?'

Lukas' cheeks flushed, he hadn't fully thought through his comment. 'Well you're not as cute as Emil. But guess you do have that sad dog look.'

Mathias let out a small chuckle, before lightly elbowing Lukas in the side with a flirtatious smile, 'Well you look like an angry cat when you pout. Not cute, but I still like it.'

Lukas huffed and quirked an eyebrow at Mathias when he didn't receive a comment back. 'Well like I said, Emil is still cuter than you.'

Mathias just shook his head in good natured defeat before asking, 'How old is Emil? A grown man can't beat a kid in cuteness. It is an unfair fight.'

'Well he is twelve.' Lukas answered finding his face cracking into a genuine smile, feeling better despite the heavy day.

'You made him sound like he's four.' Mathias scoffed lightly, 'Who calls their brother cute at twelve? He's almost a man!'

Lukas simply shrugged. He knew he sounded ridiculous when he talked about his brother. He loved to smother Emil with his pride and love, and Emil was the only person he did that to openly. 'Well when you see him you will see I am right.' His eyes went back to the road for a moment but he couldn't help but notice that Mathias kept looking at him with a goofy grin. 'What?'

'You said I am cute.' Mathias beamed.

Lukas frowned but his blush deepened, 'So I did.'

'Oh don't be embarrassed. I know I am cute.' Mathias joked and patted Lukas' back worsening the flush on Lukas' cheeks. If Lukas could, he would have disappeared then. 'You two are close, right?' Mathias asked afterwards.

'Yes. The closest.'

'You are lucky.' Mathias said with a sad look.

Lukas supposed he was lucky. In fact, he was very lucky. There wasn't anyone else in his family he was close to. And his father was a terrible man in his eyes. 'He is the only one in my family I care about. Without him I would have been alone.'

Mathias made a face that Lukas wasn't sure was pained or unsure. 'I would have been happy with any family, Lukas.' Mathias said frankly.

Of course Lukas' predicament would seem minor to someone like Mathias but he still went ahead and presented his case, 'You say that now. But my father wasn't much of a father. He loves to cheat people by over pricing beer, he serves burnt food to poorer customers, and just about any bad deed to get ahead.'

Mathias raised his eyebrows, 'Serving bad food is bad, I will agree. But maybe he cheats people to keep you all fed?'

'Would you do it?' Lukas asked incredulously.

'For you? Yes. I would steal if I had to.'

Lukas groaned at the words. Just hearing those words made him wonder how much of the food Mathias had brought him was stolen. 'Either case it goes deeper than just bad service. His heart is cold. One year there was a bad summer where it didn't rain and all of the crops died. A thin woman came in; she had a baby and couldn't produce any milk because she was so hungry. The woman had coin but not enough for a full meal. I suggested she could work off the rest. My father got angry at me and not only tossed the woman out but slapped me so hard my ears bled.'

'He hurt! Why would a father do that? He should protect you from harm.' Mathias cut in with a hot anger.

'But it's not even the slap, Mathias. He is callous. He says I am cold hearted yet he used to work us when we were sick in hopes that one of us would die. The fewer children he had, the less he had to feed, and the more money he would make. How am I cold hearted? Am I, Mathias?'

'No, no, Lukas. You are kind. Very kind.' Mathias argued grabbing Lukas' hands, tangling their fingers together in the reigns and digits. Helplessly Mathias stared at Lukas. Inside Lukas' chest was a bubble of anger and grief that was bursting to pop.

Swallowing thickly Lukas stated, "But everyone says it." His own voice fell on Mathias deaf ears.

'What did you say?' Mathias asked after their hands parted.

'Nothing, just thank you.' Lukas lied, feeling stupid about his outburst.

Mathias gave him a hard look but he dropped the subject. Instead he signed, 'I am excited to meet Emil, though.'

Lukas found himself smiling at the thought of his brother. 'And I'm sure he'll adore you.'

Mathias gave a flat laugh, 'Well he will be one of the few!'

Lukas didn't know if he was kind or not, but he knew that Mathias certainly was. His lips slightly lost his smile when he realized that he was the only person left on the planet that saw Mathias for what he was. Wrapping an arm around Mathias he gave his friend a half hug, as he tried to fight off the sad pity he had for Mathias. Deaf or not, Mathias deserved so much more than what he had, Lukas concluded.

And that was when he remembered his promise to teach Mathias to speak. Sitting there, Lukas still didn't have a clue on how he would teach Mathias.

Xxx

It wasn't raining anymore; it was a torrential down pour. Mathias shivered and pulled his already damp cloak closer to his body in vain. His clothes beneath his cloak were beginning to suck up the rain as well. Next to him, Lukas say silently as he shivered and held the reigns in his ghostly, white hands. They had another two hours of daylight left but staying in this down pour would be pure misery. They wouldn't have a fire because everything was soggy. Their night would be spent huddled underneath the wagon on the wet ground. It was better than nothing and Lukas looked half frozen already.

Stiffly, Mathias tried to maneuver his fingers and hands to sign, 'We should stop for the day. This rain is just getting worse.'

Lukas nodded in agreement before pulling on the reigns and halting their wagon. Standing was a task as their limbs struggled to keep them upright. Mathias was quicker and more agile when climbing off the wagon, but Lukas silently stumbled and almost tripped face first into the ground. Lukas was much more cold and this made Mathias alert to his friend disposition. He would need to get his friend warm as quickly as possible. Hell, even Lukas hands were frozen in the position of holding reigns.

'Go under the wagon.' Mathias signed harshly before stuffing their bedding in Lukas' icy arms. 'You should have told me you were this cold. You're going to get sick.'

Lukas bent over and tossed the bedding under the wagon before signing, 'I thought we were near a town so I kept quiet thinking we would find one.'

'You were being stubborn for a warm bed?' Mathias gave Lukas a frown before reaching into the wagon. His silence answered Mathias' question. After several days on the road his friend was probably missing his warm food, bed, and baths. Now he needed to feed his friend and get him warm without an expensive bed from a tavern.

Sifting through their supplies, Mathias grabbed a jar with some salted meat and their now soggy bread. Underneath the wagon Lukas was doing as he was told and unrolling their blankets and furs. Mathias handed Lukas his food before kicking off his boots and crawling in beside his friend. They ate in silence and after filling their stomachs, sleepiness washed over them both. Lukas was still shivering next to him so Mathias pulled him close and wrapped his arms tightly around his waist. Their bodies were wet but after several minutes of being trapped under the furs together they began to feel a muggy warmth. Slipping his eyes shut, Mathias snuggled against Lukas before he blissfully passed out.

Sleeping was full of nonsense dream where Mathias tripped into strange scenarios. One in particular he was sitting at the sea watching the seagulls dive bomb Berwald. The robed man tried to reach Mathias and his robes stretched out to Mathias like tentacles on a squid. But the seagulls new of the evil that was inside of Berwald and kept him at bay. The sand beside Mathias shifted and he saw Lukas sitting down next to him with a slight smile on his lips. He looked so peaceful and beautiful that Mathias found himself bending over and kissing Lukas. With full fervor, Lukas kissed back as he grinded up against Mathias and his nails dragged sharply over his back. Reflexively he rolled his hips back, feeling his throat vibrate pleasantly and Lukas shiver in his arms but not because he was cold. And it felt so real, he could feel Lukas' soft backside grinding up against him. Wait… that wasn't right. Lukas was facing him.

Eyes flashing open, Mathias found himself moving his hips up against Lukas. It wasn't a dream. The rain clouds had dissipated revealing the moon giving Mathias enough light to see that Lukas was asleep but helplessly rutting up against Mathias. Letting out a groan, Mathias moved with Lukas, feeling the teasing movement on his erection. Deep down, Mathias knew he shouldn't be doing this and he should stop out of respect for Lukas. But he couldn't and his hands gripped Lukas' hips and pulled him closer and began rocking up against his friend eagerly.

From all the moving and rocking, Lukas' shirt had rolled up revealing his back to Mathias. Their baggy clothing was becoming less secure and Mathias couldn't help but direct his hips in a way that would help their clothes slip a little bit more to reveal more flesh.

Grunting, Mathias continued rocking vigorously. He was so close, he just needed to keep rocking together with Lukas and would release some of the pent up sexual lust Mathias had been holding inside. It wasn't too terrible of him, Lukas' body obviously wanted this and what Lukas didn't know wouldn't hurt him.

A strong jab caught Mathias in the ribs and Mathias released Lukas' hips as if he was burnt. Gasping he felt for his lost breath, Mathias felt Lukas scoot away. The moonlight showed Lukas' embarrassment as he tried in vain to hide his own erection.

'Sorry, I just woke up to you rubbing against me and I couldn't…'Mathias started but stopped, realizing that it didn't matter why he did it. He should have stopped.

'That was a stupid thing to do.' Lukas snapped making Mathias hang his head in shame. Rejected, he was being rejected. And like always, it left a bitter feeling in Mathias' chest. Giving up, Mathias began to roll out from beneath the wagon to go and properly relieve himself he saw Lukas sign, 'Sorry I shouldn't have rubbed myself up against you like that.'

'But I liked it.' Mathias said with a guilty smile as he pointed to his hard, the tip still slight exposed. He watched Lukas look longer than he should as before swallowing thickly. Mathias huffed, of course Lukas looked interested. He always did but Mathias knew nothing would actually happen. It was frustrating and it made Mathias ache with more than just want.

'We shouldn't-

'Do this. I know.' Mathias interrupted gloomily. They went silent again and Mathias ran his fingers through his hair in dejectedly. He wanted Lukas. Just once he wanted to feel the man pant and writhe underneath him. Taking a big gamble he was sure wouldn't lead anywhere, Mathias stated, 'You know we could just help each other. No one will know and you already started so what does it matter now? The man in the sky is already disappointed with what we did, so does it really matter if we finish?'

Lukas' eyes narrowed and he began to pick at the mud on his clothing. Mathias could tell he was contemplating his suggestion. 'Come on, just this once.' Mathias urged him on. If Lukas was thinking on it, then he was considering, right?

He watched his friend let out a long sigh and shake his head. Disappointment settled in quickly and Mathias turned to leave. Just as he was about to slide out completely, Mathias felt his friend's hand grab his sleeve. Looking over his shoulder he could see the hesitant look in Lukas' eyes but he said, 'I suppose you are correct. We did already do wrong.'

A big grin cracked on Mathias' face and he quickly scooted back under the wagon and sat in fron of Lukas. 'Really?'

Lukas looked away and his cheeks flushed, 'Just… get this over with.'

Mathias' heart began to hammer and his palms became sweaty as his body realized he was allowed to touch Lukas. He had to be smooth and calm so he didn't scare Lukas off. Swallowing a nervous lump in his throat, Mathias reached out with one hand and tipped Lukas' chin up before lightly bringing their lips together. He felt Lukas' jaw go slack as he let out a throaty moan that tickled Mathias' lips. Tantalizingly Mathias ran his tongue over Lukas' lips before he felt Lukas timidly slide his against Mathias' tongue. Mathias deepened the kiss as he animalistically pulled them together before forcing Lukas onto his back. They touched and breathed heavily as Mathias touched and kissed every portion of his friend's body until his friend came undone. Mathias was quick to stroke himself into his own release. For several long moments the laid their kissing and cuddling.

Numb with exhaustion they drowsily wrapped themselves back under their furs before trying to get comfortable on the hard, cold ground. But because of the heat of their passion they were warm and neither bothered to pull on each other's clothing. They just cuddled and relished the moment of feeling each other breathe as sleep slowly took them. And Mathias couldn't help but smile.


End file.
